1. TRUFFLES

You, you think yer such a bad ass
You think yer such a rough neck
Well I saw you outside eating truffles with yer mom on the patio
I think it's really sad though and tell yer girl ta quit buggin' me
'Cause I saw her outside suckin' dick
In the bathroom of the bus of the Iron Maiden cover band

When your pencil neck breaks, when your bird chest caves in . . .
I'm gonna win
When your pencil neck breaks, when your bird chest caves in . . .
I'm gonna win

Me, I'm just another gringo, a bitter jalepeno
But I gets more montequilla in a week than your bitch ass gets in a lifetime
You're steppin' on a land mine
Your gonna shoot yer eye out
I'm thinkin' what in the Sam Ham Hill is goin' on wit yer moms in the clogs and the skirt
Wouldn't fuck'er for my country with a flag on her face and a stolen dick

When your pencil neck breaks, when your bird chest caves in . . .
I'm gonna win
When your pencil neck breaks, when your bird chest caves in . . .
I'm gonna win

You, you think yer still a bad ass, You think your still a rough neck
Well let's take this outside


2. SUNSHINE

When I look at your face I see dirt
All the sunshine you blow up my a** starts to hurt
And I don't really mind if I'm nothin' in your eyes
It's no surprise to me
There's a rocket I built
It's under my kilt
It's coming to blow you away

I was a jerk
I did the work for somebody else's dream
I took the chance
I lost my pants
In somebody else's dream tonight

Now you're calling me up to get paid
And if you don't get paid then you'll never get laid
But I really don't have any money
I say goodbye; And you'll have to depend on your size
There's a rocket I built
It's under my kilt
It's coming to blow you away

I was a jerk
I did the work for somebody else's dream
I took the chance
I lost my pants
In somebody else's dream tonight

Now I think that I'm going to bed
As the image of you and yer crap leaves my head
Cause it's t-minus 20 tomorrow, rocket flies
And it doesn't depend on the size
There's a rocket I built
It's under my kilt
It's coming to blow you away

I was a jerk
I did the work for somebody else's dream
I took the chance
I lost my pants
In somebody else's dream tonight


3. TEENAGE DIRTBAG

Her name is Noel
I have a dream about her
She rings my bell
I got gym class in half an hour
And oh how she rocks
In Keds and tube socks
But she doesn't know who I am
And she doesn't give a damn about me

Cuz I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby
Yeah I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby
Listen to Iron Maiden, baby...with me. Ooh

Her boyfriend's a dick
He brings a gun to school
He'd simply kick my ass if he knew the truth
He lives on my block
And he drives an IROK
And he doesn't know who I am
And he doesn't give a damn about me

Cuz I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
Listen to Iron Maiden, baby...with me. Ooh
Ooh yeah...dirtbag
No she doesn't know what she's missin'

Man I feel like mold
It's prom night and I am lonely lo and behold
She's walkin' over to me this must be fake
My lip starts to shake

How does she know who I am?
Why does she give a damn about me?
I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby
Come with me Friday, don't say maybe
I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby...like you. ooh
Ooh yeah...dirtbag
No she doesn't know what she's missin'


4. A LITTLE RESPECT

I tried to discover a little something to make me sweeter
Oh baby refrain from breaking my heart
I'm so in love with you
I'll be forever blue
That you give me no reason, you know you're making me work so hard
That you give me no . . . Soul
I hear you calling
Oh baby please give a little respect to me

And if I should falter, would you open your arms out to me?
We can make love not war, and live in peace with our hearts
I'm so in love with you, I'll be forever blue
What religion or reason could drive a man to forsake his lover?
Don't you tell me no. . . Soul
I hear you calling
Oh baby please, give a little respect to me

I'm so in love with you
I'll be forever blue
That you give me no reason
You know you're making me work so hard
That you give me no. Soul
I hear you calling
Oh baby, please give a little respect to me
Oh baby, please give a little respect to me.


5. HUMP'EM 'N DUMP'EM

Cough up the rent Mr. Kent
And don't try to blame it on the government
Your wife is a clown she's in town, she gets with some other guy
Are you gonna finish your fat?
Cause I'd like to give it to my kitty cat
The big fat look is coming back
You skinny people are screwed
And I know you're right
Yeah I know it's time

Here we go again another humpem dumpem situation
Here we go again another humpem dumpem situation
Here we go again, here we go again
Now I know what you're like and I don't think I like it

The newspaper says to get bent; Man I'd like to say that to the President
He got the L. in the House, I guess he already did
She looks like she finished here fat
She then turned around and ate my kitty cat
She coughed up a hair ball or two and laughed her way to the bank
And I know it's right
Yeah, I know it's time

Here we go again another humpem dumpem situation
Here we go again another humpem dumpem situation
Here we go again, here we go again
Now I know what you're like and I don't think I like it

Here we go again.


6. LEROY

He's got the dirtiest shoes that I ever seen
Chew on a blunt wipe his butt with a magazine
Smokin' his crack wash it down with gasoline
Still he push the button, E.F. Hutton when he speaks to me
Oh you know he told me "Shake it, don't break it
It took too damn long to make it"

Leroy is my mojo man
Leroy is my mojo man
He come he take me by the hand
Cause Leroy is my mojo man tonight . . . alright!

He's just a pimp with a limp and some vaseline
He told me to "Look, over there!" and stole my nectarine
Said, "Don't turn your back on me black, I'm a sex machine"
Still he push the button E.F. Hutton when he speaks to me
Oh you know he told me, "Shake it, don't break it; It took too damn long to make"

Leroy is my mojo man
Leroy is my mojo man
He come he take me by the hand
Cause Leroy is my mojo man tonight . . . alright!

Oh you know he told me, "Shake it, don't break it, it took too damn long to make it"


7. HEY, MR. BROWN

Man I think it's just a little sleazy
You said you was like butter but you're cheesy
To treat me like I'm spinner bait you can't wait, go fish off some other dock

Hey, Mr. Brown, don't have a cow
Just compensate me!
Hey, Mr. Brown, don't have a cow
Just compensate me!
Hey, Mr. Brown, don't have a cow
Just compensate me! You're gonna have to prove it to me

If I don't call you back your head spins
If I told you what I think you'd shit your linens
"It's just another interview, nothing new"
But they don't even know my name

Hey, Mr. Brown, don't have a cow
Just compensate me!
Hey, Mr. Brown, don't have a cow
Just compensate me!
Hey, Mr. Brown, don't have a cow
Just compensate me! You're gonna have to prove it to me.


8. LOVE IS A MUTT FROM HELL

This is a story about a friend of mine
He is abnormally intelligent
He could bust a phatty rhyme, even when he got up in the blunt
But that all changed when the girl who he lives with came to town
He let here take him away from me so I had to ask him how
That's when he said, "She takes advantage of me! She takes advantage of me!
She takes advantage of me! She takes advantage of me!
She even knows when I pee! I think eventually she'll make a meal out of me."

Because her love is a mutt from hell that I can't live without
Your love is a mutt from hell that I can't live without
One of these days I swear I'm gonna get out
'Til then your love is a mutt from hell that I can't live without

That's why I'm talking to you now

Sarah lives with Bradley now, I guess that is how she wants her shit
He needed a place to stay, so it's of mutual benefit
I stopped by on my way to Pomona yesterday
She sat down and spilled her guts to me
That's when I thought she would tell me she's gay
Instead she said, "He takes advantage of me! He takes advantage of me!
He takes advantage of me! He takes advantage of me!
He even knows when I pee! I think eventually he'll make a meal out of me."

Because her love is a mutt from hell that I can't live without
Your love is a mutt from hell that I can't live without
One of these days I swear I'm gonna get out
'Til then your love is a mutt from hell that I can't live without

That's why I'm talking to you now
Talking to; That's why I'm talking to, That's why I'm talking to
Talking to; That's why I'm talking to, That's why I'm talking, talking, talking to you NOW!

Because, your love is a mutt from hell that I can't live without


9. PUNK ASS BITCH

She wriggles and she wraggles, she jiggles and she jaggles
You stand and watch her pass by, your line of vision ass-eye
You think that cause she smiles, that you turn all her dials
But you don't see them later, while in the elevator
You nag her and you swagger, you think you're gonna shag her
A man about the town-a, get funky, let's get down-a, machismo and machasma, it turns into miamsa
But you have got no class, no style, no social skills, no comprehension

I can't deal with this idiot, yeah I must admit that he's a punk ass bitch

You open up your mouth-a, amazed at what comes out-a Its just a testimony
That you're full of bologna, that you're a stupid shit-ass, a meathead, guido, pass-gas
That you have got no class, no style, no social skills, no comprehension

I can't deal with this idiot, yeah I must admit that he's a punk ass bitch
I can't deal with this idiot, yeah I must admit that he's a punk ass bitch

You know you want to spangle, but you can't seem to angle
One gives you attitude-a, your reason to be rude-a
You think that cause she smiles, that you turn all her dials
But you don't see them later, while in the elevator
You nag her and you swagger, you think you're gonna shag her
A man about the town-a, get funky, let's get down-a, machismo and machasma, it turns into miamsa
You have got no class, no style, no social skills, no comprehension
You open up your mouth-a, amazed at what comes out-a
It's just a testimony, that you're full of bologna, that you're a stupid shit-ass, a meathead, guido, pass gas
But you have got no class, no style, no social skills, no comprehension

I can't deal with this idiot, yeah I must admit that he's a punk ass bitch
I can't deal with this idiot, yeah I must admit that he's a punk ass bitch


10. WANNABEE GANSTAR

I am a wannabe
You better be careful around me
I come from far away, where mustang dreams are made
And we are fashioned in the image of the Don's who have come before us
We all kiss the rings of sand like our fathers told us

'Cause I'm a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack
I'm a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack
I'm a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack, better go back to far away

Like a lemon pie a la mode, my nine is easy to load
Aall hail Jericho
Turnpike Teck
That's where I go to learn the things about the universe I'll need
So I can build a stamped
'Cause I'm all up in your face again, I'm all up in your face

'Cause I'm a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack
I'm a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack
I'm a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack, better go back to far away

A wannabe gangstar, a victim of the chromosome prankster
I thanks ya, I sits back in my chair to contemplate my hair
OOH DAMN, I reak of cologne
But yo I'm lookin' snappy, I'm nappy, I'm crappy, got jimmy hats from pappy
So now I'm trigger happy
(Girl did he just rhyme 'crappy' with 'happy'?)
Yeah, so you girlies wanna get wit this nit wit, got Cheese Whiz or not?
Then I'm a hafta blow up ya mail box BIATCH!
Or toilet paper ya front yard, show the cops my Suburbs Card
They gotta let me go cause they know that I'm hard
It's the deal it's for real, ya betta listen to what I'm tellin' ya . . .
'Cause I'm a wannabe gangstar

'Cause I'm a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack
I'm a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack
I'm a wannabe gangstar, better go back to Commack, better go back to far away