I was married

I married in the sun
Against the stone of building built before you and I were born
Into my heart confusion grows against
The muscles fought so long
Fought so long
To control against the pull of one magnet to another
Magnet to another
Magnet
Now we look up in, into the eyes of bullies breaking backs
They seem so very tough, they seem so very scared of us
I look into the mirror, for evil that just does not exist
I don't see what they see
Try to control the pull of one magnet to another
Magnet to another (x3)


Relief next to me

I miss you now, I guess like I should have missed you then.
My body moves like curtains waving in and out of wind, in and out of windows.
I can't untangle what I feel and what would matter most.
I can't close an eye, can't close an eyelid. Now there's just no point in reaching out for me.

In the dark, I'm just no good at giving relief.
In the dark, it won't be easy to find relief.
And I'm not proud that nothing will seem easy about me.
But I promise this, I won't go my all life telling you I don't need. (x2)

I'll tell you now, I guess like I should have told you then.
That thunder moves like dawn drawers slamming in my frame, slamming in my framework.
I can't untangle what I know and what should matter most.
I can't close an eye, can't close an eyelid. Now there's just no point in reaching out for you.

In the dark, I'm just no good at giving relief.
In the dark, it won't be easy to find relief.
And I'm not proud that nothing will seem easy about me.
But I promise this, I won't go my all life telling you I don't need. (x2)


The con

I listened in, yes I'm guilty of this, you should now this.
I broke down and wrote you back before you had a chance to.
Forget forgotten, I am moving past this, giving notice.
I have to go, yes I know that feeling, know you're leaving.

Calm down, I'm calling you to say I'm capsized, erring on the edge of safe.
Calm down, I'm calling back to say I'm home now and coming around, I'm coming around.
Nobody likes to but I really like to cry.
Nobody likes me, maybe if I cry.

Spelled out your name and list the reasons. Faint of heart don't call me back.
I imagine you and I was distant not insistent.
I followed suit and laid out on my back, imagine that.
A million hours left to think of you and think of that.

Calm down, I'm calling you to say I'm capsized, erring on the edge of safe.
Calm down, I'm calling back to say I'm home now and coming around, I'm coming around.
Nobody likes to but I really like to cry.
Nobody likes me, maybe if I cry.

Encircle me I need to be taken down. (x4)
Nobody likes to but I really like to cry.
Nobody likes me, maybe if I cry.

Encircle me I need to be taken down (x3)

Knife going in

If I don't recover, sell this house and find something lost outside your window
Not forever
But on the night I die I swear I'll sleep outside your window
I feel the knife going in
I'm feeling anxious
Not enough to kill me, I thought it'd happen fast
But I'm feeling it now and I feel anxious
Sleeping inches from me, I let it pass
Emy should I stop?
Do you think I'll make it to the morning if it's written?
Stitch it up
The kind of song I know causes mother, sister, lover worry
I feel the knife going in
I'm feeling anxious
Not enough to kill me, I thought it'd happen fast
But I'm feeling it now and I feel anxious
Sleeping inches from me
I let it pass

Are you ten years ago

If you take it I am yours
I'm up and doing circles
I'm taken, I am yours I'm up and doing circles (x3)
I collapse
I might stay out longer than I left the light on for you
Then if you show, you show
If you show, you show
When I feel like this
When I get so into myself
I lose track of where I'm going and lose track of how to get going again
I feel myself slowing down
Feel myself turning around
Is this taken?
When I feel like this
When I get so sick of myself
Where are you going now without me
And not knowing then, that we're slowing down
You've gotta turn that around
And tell me that I'm taken,
Tell me if I'm yours
You collapse
The pressure of this life is so
You can't be held accountable
If you go, you go (x2)
When you act like this
When you get so sick, of yourself
The whole world falls away and since
I feel like I have only missed the feeling that I'm here again
The feeling that I'm clear again
I'm not taken
When you act like this
When you get so in
To yourself I lose sight of common goals
And letting go so I can be all alone
Feel myself, going slow
Feel myself, letting go
Not taken,
Not feeling like I'm yours
I'm taken, I am yours
I'm up and doing circles
I'm taken, I am yours
I'm up and doing circles
I'm taken, I am yours
I'm up and doing circles
I'm taken, I am yours
I'm up and doing circles
I collapse
This life looks like a sentence, though
A constant game of falling short
If you know, you know (x2)
When I feel like this
When I'm just so sick of feeling less than perfect
Is it right for me I never fight to see if coming clean
Would get to me I feel myself, holding back
I feel the pressure, it's finally back
I'm taken
When you feel like this
When you saw it call come crashing down
Subtle but not underground
I was there
I saw the signs, I saw unfair
And so I write to you
Through other means
I let myself finally feel taken
Like I was yours
If you take it I am yours
I'm up and doing circles
I'm taken, I am yours
I'm up and doing circles
I collapse (x3)


Back in your head

Build a wall of books between us in our bed.
Repeat, repeat, the words that I know we both have said.
Relax into the need, we get so comfortable.
Remember when I was so strange and likeable?

I just want back in your head (x2)
I'm not unfaithful but I'll stray.
When I get a little scared (x2)
When I get a little...

When I jerk away from holding hands with you,
I know these habits hurt important parts of you.
Remember when I was sweet and unexplainable?
Nothing like this person, un-loveable.

I just want back in your head (x2)
I'm not unfaithful but I'll stray.
When I get a little scared (x3)
When I get a little...I run, run, run

I just want back in your head (x2)
I'm not unfaithful but I'll stray. (x4)


Hop a plane

I took the train back
Back to where I came from
I took it all alone
It's been so long I know
Imagine me
There my heart asleep with no air
Begging
"ocean please, help me drown these memories"
All I need to hear is that
You're not mine (x2)
I'm moving east
There's somewhere far away from
The sight of my hands
The sight of me not moving
You can't just hop a plane
And come and visit me again
I claim it's in my head
And I regret offering
All I need to hear is that
You're not mine (x2)
All I want to hear is that
You're not mine (x2)
You take a second take a second
Take a year take a year
You took me out and took me in
And told me all of this
And then you take a moment
Take a moment
Take a year (x2)
You help me out
I listen in
You taught me all of this
And then
All I want to hear is that
You're not mine (x2)
All I want to hear is that
You're not mine (x2)
All I need to hear is that
You're not mine (x2)
All I want to hear is that
You're not mine (x2)


Soil, soil

Oh and I'm feeling
Directionless yes
But that's to be expected
And I know that best
And in creeps the morning
And another day's lost
You've just written wondering
And I reply fast
All you need to save me (x2)
Call (call)
And I'll be curled on the floor
Hiding out from it all
And I won't take any other call
I feel like a fool
So I'm going to stop troubling you
Buried in my yard
A letter to send to you
And if I forget
Or god forbid die too soon
Hope that you'll hear me
Know that I wrote to you
All you need to say to me (x2)
Is call (call)
And I'll be curled on the floor
Hiding out from it all
And I won't take any other call


Burn your life down

Tell me that you know
Another way to get it done
It's not me or how I would be
But it's a different situation
A different situation
You lay awake in the night
Just staring at the ceiling above
Pulling pieces of it out
Is such a waste of time
Keep on fighting to remember
That nothing is lost in the end
When you burn burn burn your life down
Get me to the door
Out of bed on the track
I'm not sure starting over
It's a different situation
A different situation
You wake up in the night
And refuse to be afraid of it now
Unfolding pieces of it faster
Don't you waste your time
You've been planning to remember
So nothing will be lost in the end
And you burn burn burn your life down (x2)
I drive around the block
And I'm not looking to my right
I feel the glass against my cheek
And I can't see you in the light
I break my heart around this
Break my heart around this
I drive around the block
And I'm not looking to my right
I feel the glass against my cheek
And I can't see you in the light
I break my heart around this
Break my heart around this pole


Nineteen

I felt you in my legs
Before I even met you
And when I laid beside you
For the first time
I told you
I feel you in my heart,
And I don't even know you
Now we're saying
Bye, bye, bye
Now we're saying
Bye, bye, bye
I was nineteen
(Call me)
I felt you in my life
Before I ever thought to
Feel the need to lay down
Beside you
And tell you
I feel you in my heart,
And I don't even know you
And now we're saying
Bye, bye, bye
Now we're saying
Bye, bye, bye
I was nineteen
(call me)
I was nineteen
(call me)
Flew home,
Back to where we met
Stayed inside
I was so upset
Cooked up a plan,
So good except
I was all alone
You were all I had
Love you
You were all mine
Love me
I was yours right (x2)
I was nineteen
(call me)
I was nineteen
(call me)


Floorplan

I want to draw you a floorplan
Of my head and heart
I want to give directions
Helpful hints
What you'll be looking for
What you'll be looking for
I know
I'll hold this loss in my heart forever
I know I'll hold, I'll hold
I know
I'll hold this loss in my heart forever
I know I'll hold, I'll hold
All eyes are on me now (x2)
I want your lungs to stop working without me
I think about writing you
I thought about calling you
What was I looking for
What am I looking for
I know
I'll hold this pain in my heart forever
I know I'll hold, I'll hold
I know
I'll hold this pain in my heart forever
I know I'll hold, I'll hold
All eyes are on you now (x2)
I shouldn't go
But I can't really help it
When I feel this pressure
I shouldn't go
But I can't really help it
When I feel this pressure
All eyes are on me now
I shouldn't go
But I can't really help it
When I feel this pressure
I shouldn't go
But I can't really help it
When I feel this pressure
I shouldn't go when I feel this building (x2)
I shouldn't go but I can't really help it
When I feel this pressure


Like o, Like h

When I was 8
I was sure
I was growing nerves
Like steel in my palm
Make a map of what you see
Direct pain effectively
I was 8,
I was sure
I was growing pain
Like lead in my feet
S.O.S. to my mother
Take the hinges off the door
S.O.S. to my mother
Take the hinges off the door
Oh, oh, sugar spell it out
Like oh, oh, sugar spell it out (x2)
Like O, like H in your gut (x3)
In your gut
S.O.S., S.O.S.
When I was four plus a ten
I was swinging fists
Like nails in a board
Pull your hands inside of you
Six years 'till I'll be through
I was four plus a ten,
I was swinging back
Like a race to be sure
S.O.S. to my mother
Take the hinges off the door
S.O.S. to my mother
Take the hinges off the door
Oh, oh, sugar spell it out
Like oh, oh, sugar spell it out (x2)
Like O, like H in your gut (x4)
(S.O.S., S.O.S., S.O.S.)
In your gut, in your gut
In your...


Dark come soon

Dark, you can't come soon enough for me
Saved, from one more day of misery
Everything I love
Get back for me now
Everyone I love
I need you now
Don't forget a million miles for me
Safe and another day passed by me
Everything I love
Get back for me now
Everyone I love
I need you now
So I conned,
I lied I lied to me too
(so what?)
So I conned,
I lied I lied to me too
(so what?)
Hold out for the ones you know will love you (x2)
You, you too
Hike to the edge and barely there
Slow
To make my move, I'm almost there
Everything I say I say to me first
Everything I do I do to me first
So what, I lied I lied to me too
(so what?)
So what, I lied I lied to me too
Hold out for the ones you know will love you (x2)
You, you too
Dark you can't come soon enough for me


Call if off

I won't regret saying this
This thing
That I'm saying
Is it better than
Keeping my mouth shut
That goes without saying
Call, break it off
Call, break my own heart
Maybe I would have been
Something you'd be good at
Maybe you would have been
Something I'd be good at
But now we'll never know
I won't be sad
But in case
I'll go there
Everyday,
To make myself feel bad
There's a chance
I'll start to wonder
If this was the thing to do
I won't be out long
But I still think it better if
You take your time
Coming over here
I think that's for the best
Call, break it off
Call, break my own heart
Maybe I would have been
Something you'd be good at
Maybe you would have been
Something I'd be good at
But now
We'll never know
I won't be sad
But in case
I'll go there
Everyday,
To make myself feel bad
There's a chance
I'll start to wonder
If this was the thing to do
I'll start to wonder
If this was the thing to do