1. HOSPITALITY ON PARADE

Someday we'll have one extra coastline
We'll tire of the Atlantic
By then we'll be rid of your lot
A shot heard 'round the world will soon be shot,
Will soon be shot

'Til then have some tea and tobacco
Hey Jenny meet your master
Be nice, show him kindness and such
Be kind to our master

But of feeling is a-brewing that we don't need any masters
'Cause we all can be a master and we all can be a king

We speak and we sing the way that you do
And showed you our hospitality on parade
But now we are we, we're no longer you
Tara to that hospitality on parade

Today you're going to find their descendants
In places all around you
You're faced with the easiest task
How best to act a king when always treated like a king

Lunch counters, at banks and the theatre
Kind help right there to serve you
Men selling, and girls selling too
And everyone's special

We all are someone special
Yes, we all are someone special
For we all are someone special
Where the customer is king

Whoever you are, whoever you bring
You'll find that hospitality on parade
However you look, you're always a king
Wherever there's hospitality on parade

I'm special, you're special
He's special, she's special
We're all someone special
And I am the king

[Chorus]

Whoever you are, whoever you bring
You'll find that hospitality on parade

However you look, you're always a king
Where ever there's hospitality on parade


2. HAPPY HUNTING GROUND

[Chorus]
Happy hunting ground, happy hunting ground
They don't talk or act like you do
Happy hunting ground, happy hunting ground
No they sure don't look like you

Who, what, when, where and why everyday
Identify every disease
I drew a blank in my language
And latin and Spanish and Greek
Thrown out, thrown out, so happy at first
I danced 'til I wore out my shoes
Now I'm in trouble, I know it
Please let me back into school

[Chorus]
Back in the happy hunting ground
Where all around are fair, fair game
I need the happy hunting ground
'Cause all around it's not the same

How to say it, and not to offend
Well, you're still inside it's OK
As soon as a girl leaves the refuge
Out go the reason they're great
Hips are spreading, and never a smile
They always demand that they drive
Well, I've got to get back inside there
Back where at least they're alive

[Chorus]

Happy hunting ground, happy hunting ground
They can sort of dance like you do
Happy hunting ground, happy hunting ground
But they just can't last like you

Some are coming to learn how to read
Others to learn how to write
But I want a better selection
It's larger but poorer outside

It's fair, fair game inside (etc...)

[Chorus]

It's fair fair game inside (etc...)

[Chorus]


3. WITHOUT USING HANDS

The canopy over the main doorway of the Ritz hotel
Had served as a very large umbrella when the May rains fell
Still the men of Paris glistened and their ladies did as well
As long as their powder was dry there'd be some Heterosexual thrills
With or without the protection of the Paris Ritz hotel

And every single Parisian will love tonight without using hands

And these are the slides that Mary took when we were overseas
Oh, look at the funny little Frenchman with some French company
There's the Ritz hotel where me and Mary Stayed a couple of days
Jerry, let go of your sister, what is wrong with you today
Sit over there with your mother and let's sing La Marseillaise

The only way children are punished, unlike old times is without using hands

Oh, what a lovely city, city, city, city
Oh, what a lovely city, city, city, city
Oh, what a lovely city, city, city, city
Oh, what a lovely city, city, city, city
Oh, are you willing to go
Oh, are you willing to go
How about letting me know, without using hands

When the explosion rocked the lobby of the Ritz hotel
Nobody moved for fear of learning that they weren't all that well
Is there is anybody missing, answer only if you're well
Everyone cheered the good fortune, for indeed it turned out well
Only the manager suffered, but at least his face looks swell

The manager is going to live his entire life Without using hands

Without using hands, (etc...)


4. GET IN THE SWING

Get in the swing, pal
Get in the swing
With everybody and everything
[repeat]

[Chorus]
My friends are here
Mind if you go out and not come back again
Well, thanks a lot
Hooray, hooray
The night is younger than the girl who's got the touch
But not by much

Well, I ain't no Freud, I'm from L.A.
But I know certain things
That they also serve who sit and wait
They're cheaper than painting
And don't need explaining

[Chorus]

When Salmon spawn
A ton of water blocks their motion,
Spoils their game
But on they go
Thrashing 'til their mission is fulfilled or else
Oh, but they have their friends
And have a warm bed waiting
Just like I do with you
I'm happy, so happy, I'm happy, oh happy

[Chorus]

All for one, one for all

[Chorus]

Hello down there
This is your creator with a questionaire
Hello up there
I don't have the time to fill out questionaires


5. UNDER THE TABLE WITH HER

Nobody miss diminutive offspring
Not when there's big wigs there, there
Dinner for twelve is now dinner for ten
'Cause I'm under the table with her

I give a yelp and they throw me a cutlet
Somebody pats her hair, hair
Everyone's nice to the subhuman species
I'm under the table with her

People all around the world are having only rice and tea
Two of them should come and take the place of Laura Lee and me...


6. HOW ARE YOU GETTING HOME?

How are you getting home
It's on my way, so let me take you home, home home sweet home

How're you getting home
How're you getting home
How're you getting home, I'm curious
No, I'm really only curious
How are you getting home

Get away from here
Let's get away from here
I hope you live a million miles away
I could take you half way home tonight
Tomorrow you'll be home
Tell me how you're getting home

We got one thing in common baby
We're too good to be at this party
We're too good to be anywhere but
Inside my car

How are you getting home
It's on my way, so let me take you home,
Home home sweet home

[Chorus]

Don't let me push you baby
What I like is your independence
Real spunk, real independence
And there's my car

How are you getting home
It's on my way, so let me take you home, home home sweet home


7. PINEAPPLE

Tropical air helps us harvest all year
And serves to promote the vitamin C content
In turn yielding greater demand

Pineapple: Got to send a case to the city jail
The warden likes it because it won't conceal
Any sort of handmade weapons
That are baked right into their buns
And the taste is delectable
But won't the prisoners hit the table and shout
Pineapple, pineapple, pineapple fulfills every need
Pineapple: shares are gonna divide
Pineapple: if in us you confide

Got a contract for all of the schools
They will use it for all of their meals
Sure, the kids will throw it real far
'Cause it ain't a milk chocolate bar
But you know it don't stain so bad
But won't the fling it at a friend and then shout

Pineapple: tastes too healthy to me
Pineapple: it's filled with vitamin C
Pineapple: fulfills every need
Pineapple: to all the ships at sea
Pineapple: for the English at tea
Pineapple: to the Siamese twins
Pineapple: to heal those who have sinned

Ship some to the Alpine skiing team
The coach won't have to worry 'bout the calories
Sure it ain't strudel (they're nice)
But it helps your balance on ice
Puts you back on the winning trail

But don't the players moan and groan and then shout:
Pineapple: we get it every old night
Pineapple: but we're winning all right
Pineapple fulfills every need
Pineapple: shares are gonna divide
Pineapple: if in us you confide
Pineapple fulfills every need
Pineapple: upward trends are foreseen
Pineapple: so invest in Big P
Pineapple fulfills every need
Pineapple: and the tins can be used
Pineapple: for anything that you choose
Pineapple, pineapple

We'll jet you there, breathe the Hawaiian air
Where hula is life, and luaus are for the wife
So visit our factory soon


8. TITS

Harry, it's good of you to stay
Hear every word I say
And not just duck away

God, these drinks are something warm and watered down
Barkeep, how 'bout some ice
Hey, Harry sit back down
Say, that little thing there's fine from behind

They all look good after three or four,
So drink Harry, drink Harry, drink 'til you can't see no more
Of anything, no more of anything
Drink Harry, drink Harry, drink 'til you can't see no more

For months, for years,
Tits were once a source of fun and games at home
And now she says, tits are only there to feed our little Joe
So that he'll grow

Harry, it's really rough at home
I've caught her on the phone
Hey, who's that on the phone?
Oh, that's no one dear,
The standard sort of line
Harry, you know me well,
You know that I'm not blind
Hey, you ain't been drinking
Don't you know I'm buying?

They all taste good after three or four
So drink Harry, drink Harry, drink 'til you can't drink no more
Of anything, no more of anything
Drink Harry, drink 'til you can't drink no more

How well I know
Tits were once a source of fun and games at home
And now she says, tits are only there to feed our little Joe
So that he'll grow

God, the room is spinning round
Hey, drive me home old pal
God, you sure get around
Harry, I know it's you who's breaking up my home
Harry, don't say a word, just drop me off at home
Harry, forgive me Harry, let's have just one more

It's all so good after three or four
It's all so good after three or four
It's all so good after three or four

So let's drink Harry, drink 'til we can't drink no more
of anything, no more of anything
Drink Harry, drink Harry, drink 'til we can't drink no more

How well I know
Tits were once a source of fun and games at home
And now she says, tits are only there to feed our little Joe
So that he'll grow into a man

So let's drink Harry, drink 'til we can't see no more, (etc...)


9. IT AIN'T 1918

Johnny was a soldier with the Allies
Johnny was a soldier all the way
Johnny was a soldier with a fun side
Johnny liked to laugh a lot each day
Johnny met a girl who was a beauty
Johnny never thought to live in sin
"Do you take this girl?"
"Yes I take this girl"
Johnny had a next of kin

They were happy as they were
So everything around would change
But they would never, ever change
It ain't 1918 except for these two
It ain't 1918...

Everybody in Missouri knows them
Everybody there has seen their car
Everybody seen their Stanley Steamer
Everybody knows It's Johnny's car
Wave as you see Johnny drive to market
Watch a bit of past go steaming by
Johnny and his bride
Johnny and his car
Without a change of any kind

And they were happy as they were
Everything around had changed
But they had never, ever changed
It ain't 1918 except for there two-
It ain't 1918...

Many people in St. Lou are wealthy
A lady by the name of Miller is
Wouldn't it be nice to help out Johnny
Kinda play a real life Santa Claus
She and many other St. Lou people
Bought ol' Johnny quite a fancy car
And a modern home
Threw away his comb
Bought his wife a Paris scarf

Johnny thanked the St. Lou folk
But told them in a voice so sad
That he would rather stay as is
The people of St. Lou were mad, and they said
It ain't 1918 for us or for you
If we can't enjoy it...
Then neither will you


10. THE LADY IS LINGERING

Every word pronounced distinctly, slowly
There are no contractions, nothing slurred
Unprepared you watch in rank amazement
As she lights her cigarette and stirs
Every motion is complete, no editing of anything
Encouraging, encouraging, and not
The customary bill of fare

[Chorus]
Can't you see the lady is lingering
(Lingering)
This lady's lingering, and you cannot believe
The reason why

Every sip is of the smallest quantity
That still denotes apparent thirst
Every question is a means to draw long answers
Play the fool, it doesn't hurt
Splitting, splitting headache coming
Get up early in the morning
Where are the funny phrases
That are always followed by goodbye

[Chorus]

Is it now all up to you, do you now
Guide the evening, or do you await
A further signal, a look, a touch, a sigh

[Chorus]

Risky business, all this waiting, wondering
A risky business, all this waiting, wondering
A risky business, all this waiting, wondering
A risky business, all this waiting, wondering

[Chorus]


11. IN THE FUTURE

It's winter, it's raining
You're tired, she's fainting
You're bitter, she's brooding
But don't be disenchanted
'Cause you can barely stand it

The sweep and the grandeur
The scope and the laughter
The future, the future
The future's got it covered
With what will be discovered

In the future fun is fun
In the future, lots of sun
I'll be there, it's up to you
You'll be there if you don't do nothing foolish

You'll love it, I know it
I know what you like and
You'll love it, I know it
We'll need some vintage vino
So wash your feet and stamp away

Coming soon and everywhere
Everyone will walk on air
Now it seems so far away
But each day it's getting closer and closer

Convenience and pleasure
All blended together
And culture, and madness
You think you've seen it all
You've seen it all except the future


12. LOOKS, LOOKS, LOOKS

Looks, looks, looks
You had sense, you had style, you had cash galore
Looks, looks, looks
You employed her and dressed her in formal fashion
Still you bore her because you ain't got a

Nose that's straight, a set of perfect teeth
You got a built-in seat, that makes you look effete
You know that looks, looks, looks, are why you rely on books

Looks, looks, looks
From the eye to the brain's just an inch or two
Looks, looks, looks
From the eye to the heart's only slightly farther
The smart grow smarter, but still can't compete
And they know deep down that they are scarred for life
And that a face can launch a thousand hips
It's gonna be all right
If it ain't, don't blame me, it's your looks

At night she masquerades her passion covered by a veil of calm
Say, put on your shoes
Say, put on your shoes
No use one look at her and anyone can tell that she's on fire

Spot her error
Spot her error
Spot her error
Well, now she's all over you

Looks, looks, looks
No, it's not very hard to make history
Looks, looks, looks
Just some cavalry and a good uniform that fits in places
Where everyone tends to look and marvel
At the way you lead them on and
Look and marvel at the way you win because of
Looks, looks, looks
As long as you're long on looks

Spot her error, (etc...)

Looks, looks, looks
Far away, close at hand, it's the only thing
Looks, looks, looks
On the seas in the sand, any place is laced with those who have it
And those who can only look


13. MISS THE START, MISS THE END

Neither has a predilection, neither has an afterthought
And neither chair gets warm at all and neither
Takes their jacket off
For this they'll pay the same money to see the event
As you and I and we'll see it all

They've never seen a curtain rise, a kick-off or the
Final gun and never have they seen the titles
Flashing cross the rising sun
I'm done, I'm done, I'm done, I will be silent again
Quiet now, It's all gonna begin

Miss the start, miss the end
'Cause they're such very good friends
And there are things to be loved and things to only attend
Miss the start, miss the end

The opening bars and the closing bars might as well not exist
They're not needed, needed, really needed
You and I have got to see the start
You and I have got to see the end

We need more than just each other
So much more than just each other
They don't need more than each other
Not much more than just each other

They don't need the total picture, just a drawing of each other
Hung inside their bungalow, where wondrous things
Are all discovered
You and I must see how it starts and ends
And tell them what they missed once again


BONUSTRACKS (RE-ISSUE 2006)


14. PROFILE

All that would presuppose a power bigger than us baby,
Baby, baby start looking at me!

I know you've got a left eye
I know you've got a right
But will they be appearing together tonight

Profile, Profile
Don't your head include more than a profile

Profile, Profile
Don't your head include more than a profile

We're always cheek to cheek or cheek to face or face to cheek
But never face to hey, what do you say

Jackie serves to Johnny
Johnny serves to Jack
Jackie serves to Johnny, Johnny serves to Jack

Profile, Profile
Don't your head include more than a profile

Profile, Profile
Don't your head include more than a profile

Profile, Profile, Profile, Profile, ooooooh

Profile, Profile, Profile, Profile, ooooooh

Profile, Profile

I ain't that fussy that a bit of second best would cause
A sudden little turn in our affair

Once you've been ushered in, you ought to face the music
And ignore the guiding hand, surely you can

You ain't Whistler's Mother
Or any other art
You ain't seen me lately though we never part

Profile, Profile
Don't your head include more than a profile

Profile, Profile
Don't your head include more than a profile


15. ENGLAND

I've just come back from England
With astounding, scientific sort of news
There exist in England living creatures
Much the same as me and you.

Sure, it sounds fantastic though,
But facts are facts most everywhere
That was in New York, it was in Paris, maybe the coast of Peru

No no no, no not fair, it was England
Yes it was, it was England
Yes it was, it was in her coal

How was England weather? much like ours but with a moister sort of air.
Their communication? much like ours but with a drier sort of air.
Reproduction? good question: final big surprise in there:
That's just like New York, just like Paris, just like the coast of Peru

No no no, me and her, there in England
Me and her, there in England
Me and her, there in England, oh

No no no, lots of fun, there in England
Lots of fun, there in England
Lots of fun, there in England, oh

England, oh, England... (x8)

No no no, lots of fun, there in England
Lots of fun, there in England
Lots of fun, there and you know?

Alright, I could tell you darling
That you feel it's just some wild wild fantasy.
In a parallel existence
Where we thought we masters really ought to be

Sure, go on and doubt it, that
I dreamt it up but friend I know
That everywhere is just like England
Everywhere is just like England
And England's just like everywhere I know

No no no, Everywhere is just like England
Everywhere is just like England
And England's just like everywhere I know


16. WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND (tHE BEATLES COVER)

Oh yeah, I´ll tell you something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something

I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

Oh, please, say to me
You'll let me be your man
And please, say to me

You'll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you i feel happy, inside
It's such a feeling
That my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide

Yeah you, got that something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something

I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you I feel happy, inside
It's such a feeling
That my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide

Yeah you, got that something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something

I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your ha-a-a-a-a-a-and