1. AFTER

I can’t take anymore
I can’t breathe
I’m sick of this goddamn darkness,
Sick of sadness and tears I throw it all up every single day
Together with last night’s dinner

I have lost myself completely
I have convinced myself I am someone else

For God’s sake,
I need to be real
I need touch
I need… people?

I have to turn my life around…

But… I will still be myself, won’t I…?


2. VOLTE-FACE

I have spent all my previous life
Waiting for something else to start
Now I see that I have felt so numb
To everything that passed me by

Need to go land on my own two feet
Need to change my life this way
Need to free my mind of memories
Watch them how they screw my brain

The time that has come
Convinced what I feel inside
In darkness I float
How far is the light?

Inside – fearland
Don’t want you to know
Outside – fearless
I do want you to watch
Do you mind?

Would you step aside
Make way for me
Can’t you see I’m dead set on doing this

Enough of dreamless nights
Enough of sleepless nights
I’m the way I am
Get out of my sight
Do you mind?

You can put me in the lion’s cage
You can take my soul
Give a second name
But I don’t intend to stop my fight
And I’m not afraid
Not afraid


3. CONCEIVING YOU

I’ve been watching you
Not waiting for the right moment to make the first move
Do you want to know
Why I keep avoiding your eyes
And why I’m running away?
It’s crazy, I know

I’ve been conceiving you for too long

Or maybe I’m destined to be alone?
Or maybe there’s someone who will understand
That I’m not able to share my world?
I’m still running away
It’s crazy, I know

I’ve been conceiving you for too long
If only I could change all things around

Still conceiving you all along…

I’ve been conceiving you for too long
If only I could change all things around
I’ve been conceiving you for too long
I’ve grown used to that

Still conceiving you all along…


4. SECOND LIFE SYNDROME

Part One – From hand to mouth

From day to day
From hand to mouth
We’re turning around
Vicious ritual
Getting used to it all
Falling down again
We’re waiting for
The decrees of providence
I don’t want to waste
Any more of my life
Live from day to day
Live from hand to mouth
Facing the light
I brush aside your plans
I’m going to have
It all my own way
And when that all shattered I felt I’d broken my fall
Couldn’t pretend that I felt strong about us anymore
Without your help I finally started to live my own life
I just want you to know this time

Part Two – Secret Exhibition

I just want to feel your sigh on my neck
Want to feel your breath
Feel your need to stay
You don’t know my name
Don’t know my face
Only thoughts I share in my secret place
Secret exhibition
Cure for loneliness
I’ve ground to a halt
There’s no turning back
You know there are things I just can’t forget
You’ve helped me so much
To learn to be detached
But when that all shattered I felt I’d broken my fall
Couldn’t pretend that I felt strong about us anymore
Without that help I finally started to live my own life
And I know I don’t need you now
Secret exhibition
Cure for loneliness
Life is much too short to be whiled away with tears
Secret exhibition
Cure for loneliness
I erase you now
I don’t need you now
I erase you now with all of my past

Part Three – Vicious Ritual (instrumental)


5. ARTIFICIAL SMILE

Hi my friend
Shake my hand
Tell your lie
With your artificial smile
Don’t be mad
I just want to help you
To say these words out loud

I don’t like you cause they like you
I hate you cause they love you
I wish you ill cause they wish you well
I’m so happy when they f you
Strike a blow
For my fall
Crush me down
And just say these words out loud

I don’t like you cause they like you
I hate you cause they love you
I wish you ill cause they wish you well
I’m so happy when they f you

And this is what we do
And this is who we are
Why don’t you want to stop
You always see my life up against your life

I don’t like you cause they like you
I hate you cause they love you
I wish you ill cause they wish you well
I’m so happy when they f you

Tell me your lie!!!


6. I TURNED YOU DOWN

I turned you down so hastily
And it’s tearing me apart
In my heart of hearts I’m screaming
In my heart of hearts I cry
And it’s cold
So cold
I turned you down
Oh, I turned you down so thoughtlessly
And it’s tearing me apart
In my heart of hearts I’m screaming
In my heart of hearts I cry
How I wish you told me that

I wish you’d told me that before
I wish you’d told me that before
I wish you’d told me that before

I turned you down


7. REALITY DREAM III

(Instrumental)


8. DANCE WITH THE SHADOW

Pull myself together – holding on
Standing at the point of no return
Keeping on the right side of my heart
And the moment of truth is falling on me now

I don’t care if what I want
Is written in my eyes
You can think of me what you feel
I don’t really mind
How about laughing at my habits
At my needs
I’m afraid I’ll stay unmoved
Know I have to be

Before you come and tell me who I am
Before you try to make me someone else
Step out of your line, out of line
Step out of your line

I don’t care if what I want
Is written in my eyes
You can think of me what you feel
I don’t really mind
How about spitting venom in my face again
I’m afraid I’ll stay unmoved
You just waste your breath

Before you come and tell me who I am
Before you try to make me someone else
Step out of your line
Step out of line

Shall we dance my friend?

Join in the shadow dance
Join in the shadow dance
Join in the shadow dance
Join in the shadow dance

I’m standing on the edge, about to fall
In the middle of the point of no return
Trying to forget those days I failed to act
I’m not going to back out
I’ve come too far

I can almost see the light
Feel its warmth
And touch the moment I was waiting for so long
I carried all before me
Now the die is cast
With open arms I’m standing out against my past


9. BEFORE

I’ve become resistant to myself
To my weaknesses and pain
I’ve become the one who wants to live
and just feel alive again

I’ve changed myself

I’ve become addicted to being strong
Started out my second life
And the remnants of your tears and smiles
Shift deleted from my mind

Without knowing how it hurts…
I feel safe

Without knowing how it hurts…
I feel safe

Is this
What I
Really
Wanted?