Fish : Vigil in a Wilderness of Mirrors

Neo Prog / United-Kingdom
(1990 - Roadrunner Records / EMI Records)
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1. VIGIL IN A WILDERNESS OF MIRRORS

Listen to me
Just hear me out
If I could have your attention
Just quieten down for a voice in the crowd
I get so confused and I don't understand
I know you feel the same way you've always wanted to say
But you don't get the chance
Just a voice in the crowd

I don't know the score anymore
It's not clear anymore
I can't tell right from wrong anymore
I just don't understand
I was sitting here thinking of exchanging a new world for old
Like changing the channels on TV
Or the dirt that we stand in to gold

When I was young
My father told me just bad guys die
At the time just a little white lie
It was one of the first but it hurt me the most
And the truth stung like tears in my eyes
That even the good guys must die
There's no reasoning no crimes and I never knew why
Even now it still makes me cry

If there's somebody up there, could they throw me down a line
Just a little helping hand, just a little understanding
Just some answers to the questions that surround me now
If there's somebody up there, could they throw me down a line
Just a little guiding light to tell wrong from right
Just some answers to the questions that I'm asking you
I keep a vigil in a wilderness of mirrors
Where nothing here is ever what it seems
You stand so close but you never understand it
For all that we see is not all that it seems, am I blind?

And you sit there and talk revolution
But can you tell me just who's in command?
When you tell me the forces we're fighting
Then I'll join you and gladly make plans
But for now only our t-shirts cry freedom
And our voices are gagged by our greed
Our minds are harnessed by knowledge
By the hill and the will to succeed
And if that's not what you believe
Would you just let me know
I'm not standing alone
That I'm not just a voice in the crowd

If there's somebody up there, could they throw me down a line
Just a little helping hand, just a little understanding
Just some answers to the questions that I'm asking you
If there's somebody up there, just throw me down a line
Just a little guiding light to tell wrong from right
Just some answers to the questions that I'm asking you
I'll keep a vigil in a wilderness of mirrors
Where nothing is exactly how it seems
You're reaching out, you're so close you can touch it
But it all disappears when it's always so near
But one day we will find that we stand in the light
Until then I'll keep a vigil in a wilderness of mirrors
Nothing here is ever what it seems
I'm scared to shout in case I draw attention from the powers
That preside over our minds and our lives
When they find what I want is the deadliest weapon, that is truth

Day by day it's getting louder
And day by day it's getting stronger
But when I can't scream no more and I need reassurance,
I listen to the crowd

And the boy stood and stared at the hill
And the hill - it stared back


2. BIG WEDGE

I found a new religion yesterday
I'd just cleared immigration JFK
A priest got in a cadillac
The shoe shine boy sang gospel
As God and his accountants drove away
You'll see him coast to coast on live TV
In a stadium rocked by Satan just the night before
The collection from the faithful it is tax free
It'll pay for his presidential campaign and his yacht

And we all bow down, we bow down to the big wedge
And we'll buy ourselves some heaven on earth
We sell our souls, sell our souls for big wedge
Are we selling out tomorrow for today?

A surgeon checks your plastic on the phone
A Casio concerto entertains you while you hold
Your credit rating's good for a Madonna or a Bardot
A Dali or a Picasso for his wall.

You're looking good, you're looking good with big wedge
Are you holding back tomorrow for today?
They're driving in, driving in the big wedge
Are we selling out tomorrow for today?

You'll sell the ground beneath your feet
You'll sell your oil, you'll sell your trees
Your ideals and integrity, your culture and your history
Your children into slavery to labour in their factories
Your mother and your family
You'll sell the world eventually
The IMF and CIA; there's just no difference they're all the same
It all depends on what's your point of view

America, America the big wedge
And they're buying your tomorrow up today
With promises the promises of big wedge
And they'll break them like your hearts another day
When you find out that you've left it just too late
And you find that you're the only one to blame
That you sold out your tomorrow yesterday for Big Wedge


3. STATE OF MIND

I don't trust the government, I don't trust alternatives
It's not that I'm paranoid, it's just thats the way it is
Every day I hear a little scream inside
Every day I find it's getting louder
I just want to reach out and touch someone
'Cause I find I need a friend in this dark hour

We the people are gettin' tired of your lies
We the people now believe that it's time
We're demanding our rights to the answers
We elect a precedent to a state of mind

I trust in conspiracies, in the power of the military
In this wilderness of mirrors here, not even my speech is free
Every day I hear a little scream inside
Everyday I find it's gettin' louder
I just want to reach out and touch someone
'Cause I find I need a friend in this dark hour

We the people want it straight for a change
'Cause we the people are getting tired of your games
If you insult us with cheap propaganda
We'll elect a precedent to a state of mind

Every day I hear a little scream inside
Every day I find it's getting louder
I just want to reach out and touch someone
'Cause I find I need a friend in this dark hour

When we the people have our backs to the wall
Do we the people then assume control?
When it's too late to stop our own execution
When we're faced with the final solution
You can't elect a dream revolution
When you've a bullet in the back of your mind

It's just a state of mind


4. THE COMPANY

Where beggars take cheques and children steal credit cards
From the pockets of wrecks that lie in the road
I came to in my future that was just yesterday
Unsure of my past, that's a knot in my gut

You buy me a drink then you think that you've got the right
To crawl in my head and rifle my soul
You tell me I'm free then you want me to compromise
To sell out my dreams you say you'll make it worthwhile

Oh, boys would you drink to me now
Here on the hill, halfway up, halfway down

You tell me I'm drunk then you sit back and smug a while
Convinced that you're right that you're still in command
Of your senses. I laugh at your superior attitude
Your insincere platitudes they make me throw up

The sooner you realise I'm perfectly happy
If I'm left to decide the company I choose

Oh, boys would you drink to me now
Here on the hill, halfway up, halfway down
Oh, boys would you drink to me now
Here on the hill, halfway up, halfway down
Oh for the company born to the company
Live for the company until I die

The sooner you realise I'm perfectly happy
If I'm left to decide the company I choose

The company I choose is solidly singular
Totally trustworthy, straight and sincere
Polished, experienced, witty and charming
So why don't you push off, this company's my own

Oh, boys would you drink to me now
Here on the hill, halfway up, halfway down
Oh, boys would you drink to me now
Here on the hill, halfway up, halfway down
Oh for the company, dream of the company
Live for the company until I die
Oh for the company, dream of the company
Drink to the company until we die
Until we die
Until we die


5. A GENTLEMAN'S EXCUSE ME

Do you still keep paper flowers in the bottom drawer with your Belgian lace
Taking them out every year to watch the colors fade away?
Do you still believe in fairy tales, in battlements of shining castles
Safe from the dragons that lie beneath the hill?
Are you still a Russian princess rescued by a gypsy dancer
To anyone who'll listen is that a story you still tell?
You live a life of fantasy, your diary romantic fiction
Can't you see it's hard for me, can you see what I am trying to say?

It's a gentleman's excuse me so I'll take one step to the side
Can you get it inside your head I'm tired of dancing?
For every one step forward we're taking two steps back
Can you get it inside your head I'm tired of dancing?

I know you still like old fashioned waltzes
Your reflection in the mirror that you flirt with as you glide across the floor
But if I told you the music's over would you want to hear
That your dance card is empty that there's no-one really there?
Do you still believe in Santa Claus, that there's a millionaire
Looking for your front door with a key to a life that you'd never understand?
All I have to offer is the love that I have, it's freely given
You'll see its value when you see what I've tried to say

It's a gentleman's excuse me so I'll take one step to the side
Can you get it inside your head I'm tired of dancing?
For every one step forward I'm taking two steps back
Can you get it inside your head that from this one step forward
There's no turning back?
Can you get it inside your head I'm tired of dancing?
We're finished dancing


6. THE VOYEUR

Track down a satellite, beam in the action,
Life lies bleeding live in your living room,
Our senses on remote control, overkill on overload
From Lockerbie to Lebanon's getting closer every day
Hollywood to Hungerford's an impression away

I like to watch implausible pledges of polite politicians
I like to watch them even more than my video nasties
I like to watch

The bleating of a bimbo, a back-stabbing beauty queen
Titillating tabloids trigger off a wet dream into action
A fatal attraction, private lives are up for auction
A cupboard full of skeletons are coming out to play

I like to watch disasters in replay and rerun in slow-mo
I like to watch on the spot interviews, kicking in front doors
I like to watch

To watch as my face is reflected in blank TV screens
The programmes are over, I like to pretend that that's
Me up there making headlines, camera closeups
Catching my right side
I don't care if it's only a moment
As long as it's peak-time
Just as long as all of my friends and family see me
The world will know my name - come on down

I like to watch psychologists speculate, analysts analise
I like to watch my methods and motives, the topic of talk shows
I like to watch
Switch off, turn on


7. FAMILY BUSINESS

I heard a battle raging on the other side of the wall
I buried my head in a pillow and tried to ignore it all
Every night when I hear you I dream of breaking down your door
An avenging knight in shining armour, to rescue you from it all

From this family business, family business
How long does it stay, family business.
It's nobody's business, this family business
But tell me how long it remains family business

When I see you at the supermarket, sunglasses in the shade
Averting your eyes from those staring questions, how were those bruises made?
The children clutch tight to your legs, they've got so much they want to say
But daddy's sitting home, drunk again so they bite their lips and pray
'Cause daddy don't like people prying, poking in his private affairs
And if anyone asks from the social, well, you fell down the stairs

It's family business, keep it in the family business
Can you tell me how long it remains family business?
It's nobody's business, this family business
But tell me how long it should stay family business

She's waiting at the bus stop at the bottom of the hill
She know's she'll never catch it, she knows she never will
The kids are all she lives for, she's got nothing left to lose
Nowhere to escape to, but she knows she's got to move
'Cause when daddy tucks the kids in, it's taking longer every night
And the heaven that she's waiting for
Through the hell it lasts all night

It's family business, keep it in the family business
Can you tell me how long it remains family business?
It's nobody's business, this family business
But tell me how long it should stay family business

So I become an accessory and I don't have an alibi
To the victim on my doorstep the only way I can justify

It's family business, family business
How long do we keep it family business?


8. VIEW FROM THE HILL

You sit and think that everything is coming up roses
But you can't see the weeds that entangle your feet
You can't see the wood for the trees 'cause the forest is burning
And you say it's the smoke in your eyes that's making you cry

They sold you the view from a hill
They told you that the view from the hill would be
Further than you have ever seen before
They sold you a view from a hill
They sold you a view from a hill

You were a dancer and a chancer, a poet and a fool
To the royalty of mayhem you were breaking all the rules
Your decadence outstanding, your hopes flying high
One eye looking over your shoulder, one eye on the hill
You used to say you were scared of heights - you said you got dizzy
You said you didn't like your feet being too far off the ground
But they said that up there you'd find the air would be clearer
Promised you more space to move and more room to breathe

They sold you a view from a hill
They told you that the view from the hill
Is further than you'd ever seen before

You were holding out forever - thought they'd never turn your mind
Your ideals they were higher than you ever could have climbed
We thought they couldn't buy you - that the price would be too high
That the riches there on offer they just wouldn't turn your eyes
But your conscience it was locked up in the prisons of your schemes
Your judgement it was blinded by your visions and your dreams
Praying and hoping that the view from the hill
Is wider than you've ever seen before
For the view from the hill we held our heads so high (smell the roses)
All the loved ones that you lied to are strangers left behind
All the ones that really mattered well you stood on as you climbed
You were holding out forever for your fathers and your peers
Holding out for everyone that ever walked in here
The edge was inside and you rode it all the way
You were playing the games that you learned yesterday
Hanging around like a fool with a name
You are holding your place for the view, the view from a hill

They sold you the view from a hill
Look it all for a view from a hill
And you find the view's no further than you've seen before

They sold you the view from the hill
And you stood and took it all for the view from a hill
It's simply coming up roses


9. CLICHE

I've got a reputation of being a man with a gift of words
Romantic poetic type or so they say
But I find it hard to express the way I feel about you
Without getting involved with the old clichés

In the old clichés, it's an old cliché

This song's begun so many times but never in a way
That you won't consider to be an old cliché.
I want to say that I need you, I miss you when you're away
And how it seemed like fate - oh here we go - the same old clichés

It's the same old clichés

It's not that I'm embarrassed or shy, well, you know me too well
But I want to make this song special in a way that you can tell
That it's solely for you and nobody else
For my best friend, my lover, when I need help - cliché
Everything I want to say to you is wrapped up in an old cliché
I'd waited so long to find you, I'd been through the heartbreak and pain
But of course you already know that 'cause you've been through the same
That's why I'm trying to say with my deepest sincerity
That's why I'm finding it comes down to basic simplicities
The best way is with an old cliché
It's simply the best way, is with an old cliché
Always the best way is with an old cliché
I'll leave it to the best way, it's an old cliché
I love you


BONUSTRACK


10. JACK AND JILL

Me and my old lady we got a dream coming true
Me and my old lady just bought some room with a view
We kept our options open it was the only way we could deal
Living life on our own terms we took a house on the hill

But if it all comes tumbling down, a dream get broken
But souls stay sound, we can hold our heads high
And look back with no shame
With a conscience as clear as our ideals and aims
Cos where do you go at the end of the day
When your world comes tumbling down
Can you climb to your feet, wipe the tears from your eye
'Cause its only the foot of a hill.

Some people take a mortgage down on memory lane
Hide their heads in the sand and hope their troubles go away
Detach themselves from living a life that they can never afford
Lock their hearts and their spirits behind heavy golden doors

But if it all comes tumbling down, a dream gets broken
But do your souls stay sound, Can you hold your heads up
And look back with no shame?
With a conscience as clear as your ideals and aims
Where will you go at the end of the day
When your world comes tumbling down
Can you climb to your feet, wipe the tears from your eye?
Can you climb your way back up the hill?


11. INETRNAL EXILE (DEMO)

I saw a blue umbrella in Princes Street Gardens
Heading out west for the Lothian Road
An Evening News stuffed deep in his pocket
Wrapped up in his problems to keep away the cold
Grierson's spirit haunts the dockyards
Where the only men working are on
Documentary crews
Shooting film as the lines get longer
As the seams run out, as the oil runs dry

Hey there laddie, Internal Exile
When will you realise we've got to let go?
Hey there lassie, Internal Exile
When will you realise we've got to let go?

Starlings wheeling round Georgian spires
And the fires of Grangemouth burn the skies
A lion sleeps in a tenement close
In a country that's tired and deaf to his roar

Hey there laddie, Internal Exile
When will you realise we've got to let go?
Hey there lassie, Internal Exile
When will you realise we've got to let go?

They bury a wasteland deep in the wilderness
Poison the soil and reap the harvest
Of blind indifference, greed and apathy
Sowed way back in our history
The fish are few the harbours empty
The keels now rot on our oil-slicked shores
The sheep are gone, the farms deserted
We're out of sight and we're out of mind

Hey there laddie, Internal Exile
When will you realise we've got to let go?
Hey there lassie, Internal Exile
When will you realise we've got to let go?

Like our fathers before us
We've eyes for America
Dream of a new life on foreign shores
But wherever we go, we'll always know
That the land we stand on is never our own

Hey there laddie, Internal Exile
When will you realise we've got to let go?
Hey there lassie, Internal Exile
When will you realise we've got to let go?


12. THE COMPANY (DEMO)

Where beggars take cheques and children steal credit cards
From the pockets of wrecks that lie in the road
I came to in my future that was just yesterday
Unsure of my past, that's a knot in my gut

You buy me a drink then you think that you've got the right
To crawl in my head and rifle my soul
You tell me I'm free then you want me to compromise
To sell out my dreams you say you'll make it worthwhile

Oh, boys would you drink to me now
Here on the hill, halfway up, halfway down

You tell me I'm drunk then you sit back and smug a while
Convinced that you're right that you're still in command
Of your senses. I laugh at your superior attitude
Your insincere platitudes they make me throw up

The sooner you realise I'm perfectly happy
If I'm left to decide the company I choose

Oh, boys would you drink to me now
Here on the hill, halfway up, halfway down
Oh, boys would you drink to me now
Here on the hill, halfway up, halfway down
Oh for the company born to the company
Live for the company until I die

The sooner you realise I'm perfectly happy
If I'm left to decide the company I choose

The company I choose is solidly singular
Totally trustworthy, straight and sincere
Polished, experienced, witty and charming
So why don't you push off, this company's my own

Oh, boys would you drink to me now
Here on the hill, halfway up, halfway down
Oh, boys would you drink to me now
Here on the hill, halfway up, halfway down
Oh for the company, dream of the company
Live for the company until I die
Oh for the company, dream of the company
Drink to the company until we die
Until we die
Until we die


13. A GENTLEMAN'S EXCUSE ME (DEMO)

Do you still keep paper flowers in the bottom drawer with your Belgian lace
Taking them out every year to watch the colors fade away?
Do you still believe in fairy tales, in battlements of shining castles
Safe from the dragons that lie beneath the hill?
Are you still a Russian princess rescued by a gypsy dancer
To anyone who'll listen is that a story you still tell?
You live a life of fantasy, your diary romantic fiction
Can't you see it's hard for me, can you see what I am trying to say?

It's a gentleman's excuse me so I'll take one step to the side
Can you get it inside your head I'm tired of dancing?
For every one step forward we're taking two steps back
Can you get it inside your head I'm tired of dancing?

I know you still like old fashioned waltzes
Your reflection in the mirror that you flirt with as you glide across the floor
But if I told you the music's over would you want to hear
That your dance card is empty that there's no-one really there?
Do you still believe in Santa Claus, that there's a millionaire
Looking for your front door with a key to a life that you'd never understand?
All I have to offer is the love that I have, it's freely given
You'll see its value when you see what I've tried to say

It's a gentleman's excuse me so I'll take one step to the side
Can you get it inside your head I'm tired of dancing?
For every one step forward I'm taking two steps back
Can you get it inside your head that from this one step forward
There's no turning back?
Can you get it inside your head I'm tired of dancing?
We're finished dancing


14. WHIPLASH

Hang a left, turn a right
We're driving through the night
We're on the road with Fred
Anytime, anywhere but he's sure to get you there
That's the road with Fred
With his foot right to the floor
There's a corner coming on
Whiplash!

He'll overtake anywhere he doesn't really care
That's the road with Fred
Through rain and snow and fog
You sit and pray to God and place your faith in Fred
You gotta close your eyes
So you never get surprised by whiplash!

Chew your nails right to the bone
You're on the wrong side of the road
On the right side of Fred
A collision coming on
You pray the brakes are gonna hold on the road with Fred

The nut is loose behind the wheel
Hear that rubber squeal - whiplash!

Hang a left, turn a right
Driving through the night
On the road with Fred
Anytime, anywhere he's sure to get you there
On the road with Fred
He's got a mobile telephone
But you pray that no-one calls for whiplash

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