1. PRIVATES INVESTIGATIONS


It's a mystery to me - the game commences
For the usual fee - plus expenses
Confidential information - it's in the diary
This is my investigation - it's not a public inquiry

I go checking out the reports - digging up the dirt
You get to meet all sorts in this line of work
Treachery and treason - there's always an excuse for it
And when I find the reason I still can't get used to it

And what have you got at the end of the day?
What have you got to take away?
A bottle of whisky and a new set of lies
Blinds on the windows and a pain behind the eyes

Scarred for life - no compensation
Private investigations




2. BADGES POSTERS STICKERS T.SHIRTS


Me and my mate we think you’re great
Some we like and some we hate
I know him I’ve seen him on the adverts
Got any badges posters stickers or t-shirts

You were bloody great last time you come
I thought me ’ead was stuck in the bass drum
Bloody loud, me bloody head hurts
Got any badges posters stickers and t-shirts

So how’d you get a start in show biz
My mate’s as good on the drums as he is
My mate thinks I’m bloody cracked
Please sign my jacket on the back

All them badges made of plastic
I think they’re great, just fantastic
I’m unemployed, he’s still at school
He gets annoyed ’cause I’m such a fool

You don’t half sweat a lot up there
Have you got showers in here?
You’re bloody great, my bloody head hurts
Got any badges posters stickers and t-shirts

Yeah, me and my mate like ac-dc
Hot & sweaty, loud & greasy
My mom says we’re a pair of perverts
Got any badges posters stickers and t-shirts

C’mon mister

We hitch-hiked here in pouring rain
Now we’ve missed the frigging train.

Hey! can I have one of them lagers?
Thanks very much, mate. can ’e have one?
A-one, a-two, a-one two three four...