1. STEREOTYPES

The suburbs they are dreaming
They're a twinkle in her eye
She's been feeling frisky since her husband said goodbye
She wears a low cut T-shirt
Runs a little B&B
She's most accomodating when she's in her lingerie

Wife-swapping is your future
You know that it would suit ya

Yes
They're stereotypes
There must be more to life
All your life you're dreaming
And then you
Stop dreaming
From time to time you know you should be
Going on another bender

The suburbs they are sleeping
But he's dressing up tonight
She likes a man in uniform
He likes to wear it tight
They're on the lovers' sofa
They're on the patio
And when the fun is over
Watch themselves on video

The neighbours may be staring
But they are just past caring

Yes
The stereotypes
There must be more to life
All your life you're dreaming
And then you
Stop dreaming
Time to time you know
You're going on another bender

Yes
There must be more to life
Than stereotypes


2. COUNTRY HOUSE

(So the story begins)
City dweller
Successful fella
Thought to himself:
"Oops, I've got a lot of money
Caught in a rat race
Terminally
I'm a professional cynic
But my heart's not in it
I'm paying the price of living life at the limit
Caught up in the century's anxiety"

Yes, it preys on him
He's getting thin
(Try the simple life)

He lives in a house
A very big house
In the country
Watching afternoon repeats
And the food he eats
In the country
He takes all manner of pills
And piles up analyst bills
In the country
Oh, it's like an animal farm
That's the rural charm
In the country

He's got morning glory and life's a different story
Everything's going Jackanory
Touched with his own mortality
He's reading Balzac, knocking back Prozac
It's a helping hand that makes you feel wonderfully bland
Oh, it's a century's remedy
For the faint at heart
A new start
(Try the simple life)

He lives in a house
A very big house
In the country
He's got a fog in his chest
So he needs a lot of rest
In the country
He doesn't drink, smoke, laugh
Takes herbal baths
In the country
You should come to no harm
On the animal farm
In the country

(Blow, blow me out, I am so sad, I don't know why)


3. BEST DAYS

Bow Bells say goodbye to the last train
Over the river they all go again
Out into leafy nowhere
Hope someone's waiting out there
For them

Cabbie has his mind on a fare to the sun
He works nights but it's not much fun
Picks up the London yo-yo's
All on their own down Soho
Take me home

Other people wouldn't like to hear you
If you said
That these are the best days
Of our lives
Other people turn around and laugh at you
If you said
That these are the best days
Of our lives

Trellick Tower's been calling
I know she'll leave me in the morning

In hotel cells listening to dial tones
Remote controls and cable moans
In his drink he's talking
Gets disconnected sleepwalking back home

Other people wouldn't like to hear you
If you said
That these are the best days
Of our lives
Other people turn around and laugh at you
If you said
That these are the best days
Of our lives

Other people break into a cold sweat
If you said
That these are the best days
Of their lives
And other people turn around and laugh at you
If you said
That these are the best days
Of our lives
Of our lives


4. CHARMLESS MAN

I met him in a crowded room
Where people go to drink away their gloom
He sat me down and so began
The story of a charmless man

Educated the expensive way
He knows his claret from his beaujolais
I think he'd like to have been Ronnie Kray
But then nature didn't make him that way

He went....

He thinks his educated airs
Those family shares
Will protect him
That we'll respect him
He moves in circles of friends
Who just pretend
That they like him
He does the same to them
And when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man

He knows the swingers and their cavalry
Says he can get in anywhere for free
I began to go a little cross-eyed
And from this charmless man I just had to hide

He talks at speed
He gets nose bleeds
He doesn't see
His days are tumbling
Down upon him
And yet he tries so hard to please
He's just so keen
For you to listen
But no-one's listening
And when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man

He thinks his educated airs
Those family shares
Will protect him
That you'll respect him
And yet he tries so hard to please
He's just so keen
For you to listen
But no-one's listening
And when you put it all together
There's the model of a charmless man


5. FADE AWAY

They stumbled into their lives
In a vague way became man and wife
One got the other
They deserved one another

They settled in a brand new town
With people from the same background
They kept themselves busy
Long hours left them dizzy
Now when
He's in
She's out

All you ever do is fade away
All you ever do is fade away
He's not making plans
'Cos now they understand
All you ever do is fade away

He noticed he had visible lines
She worried about her behind
Their birth had been the death of them
It didn't really bother them
Now when
She's in
He's out

All you ever do is fade away
All you ever do is fade away
She's not making plans
'Cos now she understands
All you ever do is fade away

When he's in
She's...

All you ever do is fade away
All you ever do is fade away
They're not making plans
'Cos now they understand
He must learn to forget
'Cos this is all you'll ever get

All you ever do is fade away


6. TOP MAN

This is a public warning
Be careful when you're out
We're having freaky weather
There's a lot of it about

On the terraces it's swinging
He's a monkey on the roof
You've seen him on the telly
So let me introduce
(Your host tonight)

T.O.P.M.A.N.
He's naughty by nature
T.O.P.M.A.N.
On doubles and chaser
T.O.P.M.A.N.
He a little boy racer
T.O.P.M.A.N.
Shooting guns on the high street of love

In a crowd it's hard to spot him
But anonymity can cost
It's never cheap or cheerful
He's Hugo and he's Boss

He's riding through the desert
On a Camel Light
On a magic carpet
He'll fly away tonight
(Open sesame)

T.O.P.M.A.N.
Sees her in double
T.O.P.M.A.N.
Pukes on the pavement
T.O.P.M.A.N.
He likes her all clean and shaven
T.O.P.M.A.N.
Shooting guns on the high street of love


7. THE UNIVERSAL

This is the next century
Where the Universal's free
You can find it anywhere
Yes, the future's been sold

Every night we're gone
And to karaoke songs
How we like to sing along
'Though the words are wrong

It really, really, really could happen
Yes, it really, really, really could happen
When the days they seem to fall through you
Well, just let them go

No-one here is alone
Satellite's in every home
Yes, the Universal's here
Here for everyone
Every paper that you read
Says tomorrow's your lucky day
Well, here's your lucky day

It really, really, really could happen
Yes, it really, really, really could happen
If the days they seem to fall through you
Well, just let them go


8. MR ROBINSON'S QUANGO

Oh, Mr Robinson
And his quango
Dirty dealer
Expensive car
Runs the buses and the Evening Star

He got a hairpiece
Ooh, he got herpes
His private life is very discreet
A nicer man, no, you're never gonna meet

He's the self-confessed saviour of the dim right wing
He got respiratory problems and a mason's ring

Oh, Mr Robinson
And his quango
Drinks with generals and county wives
The family business is doing alright

They're doing tangos
Down in the quangos
He makes them tick
Ooh, he makes them tock
And if you don't fit
He put you in the dock

He just sits in his leather chair and twiddles his thumb
Gets his secretary in and pinches her bum

He ran into the toilets in the town hall
He got his biro out and wrote on the wall
"I'm wearing black French knickers under my suit
I've got stocking and suspenders on
I'm feeling rather loose"

Ooh, I'm a naughty boy
Ooh, I'm a naughty, naughty boy


9. HE THOUGHT OF CARS

Moscow's still red
The young man's dead
Gone to heaven instead
The evening news
Says he was confused

The motorways will all merge soon
Lottery winner buys the moon
They've come to save us
The space invaders are here

He thought of cars
And where
Where to drive them
Who to drive them with
There
There was no-one
No-one

There's panic at London Heathrow
Everybody wants to go
Up into the blue
But there's a ten year queue

Columbia is in top gear
It shouldn't snow this time of year
America's shot
She's gone and done the lot

He thought of planes
And where
Where to fly to
And who to fly there with
And there
There was no-one
No-one


10. IT COULD BE YOU

Churchill
Got his lucky number
Tomorrow there's another
Could be me
Could be you

No silver spoon
Sticky teeth, they rot too soon
You've got to have the best tunes
Or that's it
You've blown it

All we want is to be happy
In our homes like happy families
Be the man on the beach with the world at his feet
Yes, it could be you

The likely lads
Are picking up the uglies
Yesterday they were just puppies
Beery slurs
Now life's a blur

Telly addicts
You should see them at it
Getting in a panic
Will we be there
Trafalgar Square?

All we want is to be happy
In our homes like happy families
Be the man on the beach with the world at his feet
Yes, it could be you

Could be me
Could be you
Should be me
Should be you

But don't worry
If it's not your lucky number
'Cos tomorrow there's another
Could be you
Could be me


11. ERNOLD SAME

Ernold Same awoke from the same dream
In the same bed
At the same time
Looked in the same mirror
Made the same frown
And felt the same way as he did every day
Then Ernold Same caught the same train
At the same station
Sat in the same seat
With the same nasty stain
Next to same old what's-his-name
On his way to the same place
With the same name
To do the same thing
Again and again and again
Poor old Ernold Same

Oh, Ernold Same
His world stays the same
Today will always be tomorrow
Poor old Ernold Same
He's getting that feeling once again
Nothing will change tomorrow


12. GLOBE ALONE

Who maddest one on the M1
Who hasn't stopped sucking his thumb
Who very straight and never grins
Who cares what car he's driving in

He is because he saw it on a commercial break
And if he doesn't get what he wants
Then he get a headache
'Cos he needs it
Wants it
Almost
Loves it
He's here on his own
On globe alone
Here on his own

Who joined health club to glisten
Into hi-fi precision
Who mobile phone gives him the bone
Who very keen on Sharon Stone

And then he says...

Who eats at the new brasserie
Who only ever gets merry
Who wouldn't be seen at bedtime
Without putting Calvin Klein's on


13. DAN ABNORMAL

Meanie leanie
Come on down
Come and entertain the town
It's Friday night and we're all bored
Time's been called
There is no more
Time's been called
It's such a bore

Dan Abnormal
Not normal at all
It's not his fault
We made him this way
He'll imitate you
Try to ape you
But it's not his fault
Dan watches TV

The meanie leanie stays up late
Mopes around
Gets in a state
The killer in your arcade
Shooting gangsters
Ready-made
'Cos that is where
The future's made

Teleport me

Dan went to his local burger bar
"I want McNormal and chips
Or I'll blow you to bits
Give us it"

It's the miseries at half-past three
Watching video nasties
He has dirty dreams when he's asleep
Dan's just like you and me
He's the meanie leanie

Altogether now...

Dan Abnormal
Not normal at all
Oh, it's not his fault
We made him this way
He'll imitate you
Try to ape you
But it's not his fault
Dan Abnormal's
Me


14. ENTERTAIN ME

The weekend is back
But so is he
Head to the floodlights
See the fraternity
They're waiting

I hear them up in the north
Down in the south
All that is spewing
Spewing out of his mouth

Entertain me

At his'n'hers dating
Bored minds agree
Requirements to be stated
And replies awaited

She wants a loose fit
He wants Instant Whip
Guesstimates her arrival
Will she want it
Really badly?

Entertain me

A car
A house
Both in a street
The boredom of a sober week
The weekend's here
Hip-hip-hooray
To make the blues
Just go away

Entertain me


15. YUKO AND HIRO

This is my work place
And these are the people
I work with
Yuko and Hiro
We work together

We work for the company
That looks to the future
We work hard to please them
They will protect us

I never see you
We're never together
I'll love you forever

I drink in the evenings
It helps with relaxing
I can't sleep without drinking
We drink together

From Monday to Saturday
I go to my workplace
But on Sunday
We're together