1. I LOVE THIS BAR

We got winners, we got losers
Chain smokers and boozers
And we got yuppies, we got bikers
We got thirsty hitchhikers
And the girls next door dress up like movie stars

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

We got cowboys, we got truckers
Broken-hearted fools and suckers
And we got hustlers, we got fighters
Early birds and all-nighters
And the veterans talk about their battle scars

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

(Chorus)
I love this bar
It's my kind of place
Just walkin' through the front door
Puts a big smile on my face
It ain't too far, come as you are
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

I've seen short skirts, we got high-techs
Blue-collar boys and rednecks
And we got lovers, lots of lookers
And I've even seen dancing girls and hookers
And we like to drink our beer from a mason jar

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar
Yes I do

I like my truck (I like my truck)
I like my girlfriend (I like my girlfriend)
I like to take her out to dinner
I like a movie now and then

But I love this bar
It's my kind of place
Just trollin' around the dance floor
Puts a big smile on my face
No cover charge, come as you are
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar


2. WHISKEY GIRL

Don't my baby look good in them blue jeans?
Tight on the top with a belly button ring
A little tatoo somewhere in between
She only shows to me

Hey we're going out dancin' she's ready tonight
So damn good-lookin' boys it ain't even right
And when bar tender says for the lady
What's it gonna be?
I tell him man...

(Chorus)
She ain't into wine and roses
Beer just makes her turn up her nose
And, she can't stand the thought of sippin' champagne
No Cuervo Gold Margaritas
Just ain't enough good burn in taquilla
She needs somethin' with a little more edge and a little more pain
She's my little whiskey Girl
My Ragged-on-the-edges girl
Ah, but I like 'em rough

Baby got a '69 mustang
Four on the floor, and you ought to hear the pipes ring
I jump behind the wheel and it's away we go
Hey, I drive too fast, but she don't care

Blue bandana tied all up in her hair
Just sittin' there singin' every song on the radio

(Chorus 2x)

Whoa she's my little whiskey girl
My raggid-on-the-edges girl
Ah, but I like 'em rough
Yeah, I like 'em rough
I like 'em rough


3. AMERICAN SOLDIER

I'm just trying to be a father,
Raise a daughter and a son,
Be a lover to their mother,
Everything to everyone.
Up and at 'em bright and early,
I'm all business in my suit,
Yeah, I'm dressed for success from my head down to my boots,
I don't do it for money, there's still bills that I can't pay,
I don't do it for the glory, I just do it anyway,
Providing for our future's my responsibility,
Yeah I'm real good under pressure, being all that I can be,
And I can't call in sick on Mondays when the weekends been to strong,
I just work straight through the holidays,
And sometimes all night long.
You can bet that I stand ready when the wolf growls at the door,
Hey, I'm solid, hey I'm steady, hey I'm true down to the core,
And I will always do my duty, no matter what the price,
I've counted up the cost, I know the sacrifice,
Oh, and I don't want to die for you,
But if dying's asked of me,
I'll bear that cross with an honor,
'Cause freedom don't come free.
I'm an American soldier, an American,
Beside my brothers and my sisters I will proudly take a stand,
When liberty's in jeopardy I will always do what's right,
I'm out here on the front lines, so sleep in peace tonight.
American soldier, I'm an American,
An American,
An American Soldier


4. IF I WAS JESUS

If I Was Jesus, I'd have some real long hair
A robe and some sandals, is exactly what I'd wear
I'd be the guy at the party, turnin' water to wine
Yeah me and my disciples, we'd have a real good time.

(Chorus)
Ooh and I'd lay my life down for you (woooooh)
And I show you who's the boss (woooooh)
I'd forgive you and adore you
While I was hangin' on your cross
If I Was Jesus.

I'd have some friends that were poor
I'd run around with the wrong crowd, man I'd never be bored
Then I'd heal me a blind man, get myself crucified
By politicians and preachers, who got somethin' to hide.

(Chorus)

If I Was Jesus, I'd come back from the dead
And I'd walk on some water, just to mess with your head
I know your dark little secrets, I'd look you right in the face
And I'd tell you I love you, with Amazing Grace.

(Chorus)

If I Was Jesus.


5. TIME FOR ME TO RIDE

Ain't got no tricks up my sleeve
Ain't got no reason to believe
I've been looking for a sign
Love shouldn't be so hard to find
I've been sleeping on your couch
Just been layin' here alone.
I've been doing without
Oh, you've been doing me wrong
Nothing left here to decide
I think it's time for me to ride...

(Chorus)
Put my bike out on the highway
Feel that wind all in my face
Breathe some air that tastes like freedom
Yeah, let that be my saving grace
Somebody loved, somebody lied
I believe it's time for me to ride

Should've known right from the start
I couldn't tame your faithless heart
I could see the writing on the wall
I've never been the kind to crawl
Girl you're never satisfied
I believe it's time for me to ride

(Chorus 2x)

Somebody loved, somebody lied
I believe it's time for me to ride


6. SWEET

She came through the front door lookin' fast as a big train
Bookin' down the line
And she was lookin' fine
Long and lean and dressed to kill
Stacked up high with perfect wheels
And there ain't no chance, that girl would ever dance with me
She got all those city boys pushin' and shovin'
A counrty boy like me don't ever get no uptown lovin'

She's Sweet, she's got 'em melting in her hand
Whoever gets a taste of that cup of sugar
Sure is a lucky man
She's sweet, tellin you boys
She's babelicious, I can't reach that Georgia peach
But she sure looks delicious

I had nothing else to do
So I threw down two more shots of booze
And it made me strong
I strapped my courage on
I said 'would you like a drink?
'By chance, no what I mean is would you like to dance with me?
Please.' in my best southern ease
It got hot on the dance floor when she whispered in my ear
'I think I found my county boy, let's get out of here.'

I said 'sweet'.
I'm melting in her hand
I feel like a spoon in a cup of blonde sugar
Y'all looking at the lucky man
I said 'sweet'
Mmm boys she's babelicious
That Georgia peach is now in my reach
And don't she look delicious?

Look here now, she's sweet
I'm melting in her hand
I feel like a spoon in a cup of blonde sugar
Y'all looing at the lucky man
She's sweet, mmm boys she's babelicious
That Georgia peach is now in my reach
And don't she look delicious?
She's sweet.


7. DON'T LEAVE, I THINK I LOVE YOU

(Chorus)
Don't leave, I think I love you
I just saw the rest of my life, honey you're in it
Won't you hear what I say, give me a minute
Don't leave, I think I love you
I know you think I'm crazy, And you probably should
I wouldn't make this up, I couldn't dream this good

Now baby Don't tell me that I missed my chance
I haven't heard last call, would you like to dance?
I've been sitting here waiting on you all night
Why don't you give me that old good-to-go green light
Am I coming on strong, baby movin' kinda fast
I'm rushing along but at least I gotta ask
I couldn't live with myself if you got away
I'm a love sick puppy, baby what do you say?

(Chorus)

It's late and been a long night, you're tired I know
Aw, don't break my heart, baby please don't go
It Ain't the shikey talkin', ain't this neon light
You see I've fallen stone-cold in love at first sight
Gonna cut to the chase, baby get right to it
I got a lot to say and a short time to do it
Aw, Don't walk away honey I'm just trying to
Aw... listen to me talkin', I'm a babblin' fool

(Chorus)

Really baby, don't leave
I think I love you
I know you think I'm crazy, and you probably should
I wouldn't make this up, I couldn't dream this good


8. NIGHTS I CAN'T REMEMBER

Me and JB and Sonny, we grew up on the buddy plan
Weren't we some bad mothers, closer than brothers
Had a rockin' little three-piece band
Yeah we wrote a lot of songs about women
Then we tried to sing 'em pretty for the girls
Pushin' everythin' we did to the limit
Livin' right out on the edge of the world.

I recall on summer night at a party
We were sophomores hangin' out by the lake
I got off on some wine with a waitress
Sonny had a girlfriend that just couldn't wait
JB hooked up around midnight
With an ugly girl from up in the city
He downed every can of beer in the cooler
Just tryin' to drink that poor thing pretty.

Hey me and the boys we made a lot of noise
And we, sang all our songs for free
We partied through college, acquired some knowledge
Never did get a degree
We did it our way lookin' back on the good days
There's still not a lot I regret
Nights I Can't Remember, Friends I'll Never Forget.

I grew up and got married, took a job with the FPL
Sonny's got a good life, a baby and a good wife
And everyday he carries the mail
JB is a cross-country trucker
And he called last night from South Carolina
He said I fallen in love with a waitress
That I met at a Waffle House diner.

He said the years seem to roll on faster
Than they did back when we were kids
Then we need us a break from the grindstone
That's exactly what we did.

We put in a phone call to Sonny
Then we stayed out all night long
We drank a few cold ones, then told a few old ones
And sang another verse to the song.

Yeah we were boys who made a lot of noise
And we, sang all our songs for free
We partied through college, acquired some knowledge
Never did get a degree
We did it our way lookin' back on the good days
There's still not a lot I regret
There's some Nights I Can't Remember, with Friends I'll Never Forget.

All those Nights I Can't Remember, Friends I'll Never Forget.


9. BADDEST BOOTS

I saw her turn her head
In a drop-dead gaze
She was peekin' out over the top
Of those wire-rim shades
Now it wasn't my charm
And it wasn't my grin
That had that little secretary
Dialed right in
She wasn't lookin' at me, man
She was lookin' at my feet

(Chorus)
It's these twenty-two hundred
And twenty-five dollar
Pair o' handmade genuine fine
Horned-back kicks
With a seven-row stitch
And a three dollar sidewalk shine
Yeah they're made to fit
And they're hard to find
Make a pretty woman look down each time

I got the baddest boots on the boulevard
Yeah the baddest boots on the boulevard

They were made by a little man
Down in El Paso
I was passin' though town
Singin' at the rodeo

He said 'they cost a little more
But for what it's worth
There ain't another pair like 'em
On god's green earth'
Then I handed him my money
And he sized me up

(Chorus)

I got the baddest boots on the boulevard
Yeah, the Baddest boots on the boulevard
When I pull 'em on I start singin' a song
Make me wanna tuck my britches leg's inside 'em
Lets take a stroll

(Chorus)

They're the baddest boots on the boulevard

Look here girl
Yeah, they're bad alright


10. THE CRITIC

Tell it like it is...

He gets up real early on his mornin drive.
Down to the office for his 9 to 5.
He drives a 94, 2 ton, economy car.
Loves to tell the local bands down at the bar that he's The Critic.

Yea, I can hook you up, I know everybody, in the business.

He flunked junior high band he couldn't march in time.
He tried to write a song once, he couldn't make it rhyme.
He went two or three chords on a pawn shop guitar,
He just never quite had what it took to be a star, so he's a critic.

I work for the Gazette man...I got a real job.

He did a 5-star column on a band he never heard.
He did a bluegrass review about an unkind word.
He thought it was time to ask his boss for a raise,
His boss said I can't even tell if anybody's even readin your page.

Yea...

So he thought...and he thought a little more.

He caught a young hot star headin into town,
And then he hid behind his typewriter and gunned the boy down.
Here come the letters, the e-mails,
The faxes, they raised him to 20,000 dollars after taxes.

He's a happy critic...

He's rollin in the dough...

Man I could do this forever...this is easy. Everybody's readin my column!

Please don't tell my mom, that I write the music column for the Gazette.
She still thinks I play piano down at the Cathouse.

Let's get funky with this now boys...Play it on out.

Come on Shannon.

There's ole Biff jumpin in.

?? Is layin it down.

Come on Shannon.

Aww yea, my man Steve.

Man my fingers are gettin tired...y'all gonna have to hurry.
This snappin thing...wearin me out.

Hello Shannon.

Guess he's on coffee break man.

They're gonna love you...cause they already love me.

(Yea!)

It's the Critic.


11. THE TALIBAN SONG

"I'm just a middle-aged, middle-eastern camel herdin' man
I got a little, 2 bedroom cave here in North Afghanistan
Things used to be real nice and they got out of hand when they moved in
They call themselves the Taliban
(Ooooo yeah the taliban) (taliban baby)

Now I ain't seen my wife's face since they came here
They make her wear a scarf over her head that covers her from ear to ear
She loves the desert and the hot white sand
But man she's just like me, nah she can't stand
The Taliban (ooo taliban baby)

You know someday soon we're both gonna saddle up and it'll be
Ride Camel Ride
My old lady she'll be here with me, smilin right by my side
We should do just fine out around Palestine or maybe Turkmenistan
We'll bid a fair adieu and flip the finger to the Taliban
(Oh yeah the taliban) (baby)

I know where you comin from brother!
This is a patriotic love song
So y'all feel free to salute if you want,
You got my permission.

Now they attacked New York City cause they thought they could win
Said they would, stand and fight until the very bloody end
Mr Bush got on the phone with Iraq and Iran and said "Now, you
Sons-of-bitches you better not be doin any business with the taliban"
(Taliban baby)

So we prayed to Allah with all of our might
Until those big U.S. jets came flyin one night
They dropped little bombs all over their holy land
And man you should have seen em run like rabbits, they ran
(The taliban)

You know someday soon we're both gonna saddle up and it'll be
Ride Camel Ride
My old lady she'll be here with me, smilin right by my side
We should do real fine out around Palestine or maybe Turkmenistan
We'll bid a fair adieu and flip a couple fingers to the Taliban
(Oh yeah, taliban)
We'll bid a fair adieu and flip a big boner to The Taliban (baby)"


12. WEED WITH WILLIE

I always heard that his herb was top shelf
Lord I just could not wait to find out for myself.
Well don't knock it till you've tried it.
And I've tried it my friend.
I'll never smoke Weed with willie again!

Now we learned a hard lesson in a small Texas town
He fired up a fat boy and he passed it around
The last words I spoke before they tucked me in
I may discount Bungee jump but,
I'll never smoke weed with Willie again.

(Chorus)
I'll never smoke weed with Willie again
My party's all over before it begins
You can pour me some Old Whiskey River my friend.
But I'll never smoke weed with Willie again

We hopped on his old bus the Honeysuckel Rose
The party was Huntsville, it was after the show
Alone in the front lounge, just me and him
I took one friendly puff and the grim creeper set in

(Chorus)

Now we're passin' the guitar, we're tellin' good jokes
I can tell one's a comin' 'cause I'm smellin' smoke
No I do not partake I just let it pass by
With a grin on my face and a great contact high

(Chorus)

In the fetal position with drool on my chin
We broke down and smoked weed with Willie again