1. AIRPORTMAN

He moves efficiently
Beyond security.
Great opportunity awaits.
Airport fluorescent
Creature of habit
Labored breathing and sallow skin
Moving sidewalks
Great opportunity blinks.
Great opportunity blinks.
Great opportunity blinks.
Great opportunity blinks.
The people mover
The people mover
Discounted.


2. LOTUS

Hey hey.
Hey hey.

I was hell
Sarcastic silver swell.
That day it rained
Tough spun. hard won. no
Ocean flower aquarium
Badlands. give a hand.
Honey dipt. flim flam
Hey hey. hey hey.
That cat can walk like a big bad man.

So happy to show us
I ate the lotus.
Say haven't you noticed?
I ate the lotus

storefront window, I reflect.
just last week I was merely heck
tip the scale. I was hell
picked me up, then I fell.
who's this stranger? crowbar spine
.(dot).(dot).(dot) and I feel fine.
let it rain, rain, rain
bring my happy back again.

so happy to show us
I ate the lotus.
say haven't you noticed?
I ate the lotus

let it rain, rain, rain
save me from myself again
wash away my ugly sins
opposing thumb, dorsal fin
that monkey died for my grin
bring my happy back again
let it rain, rain, rain
bring my happy back again

so happy to show us
I ate the lotus.
say haven't you noticed?
I ate the lotus
I ate the lotus
I ate the lotus
I ate the lotus


3. SUSPICION

now my suspicion's on the rise
I have known, I have known your kind.
please don't talk, don't make me think
order up another drink
let me let imagination drive.

can't you see
I need
nothing too deep.

imagination
come alive
suspicion
tonight, I'll dream tonight.

listen to the devils in my ear.
tell me what, what I want to hear
you're so funny, you're so fine.
you're so perfect, you're so mine.
that I never had an opportunity
to hide
no I never had a chance

can't you see
I need
nothing too deep.

imagination
come alive
suspicion
tonight, I'll dream tonight.

look into my eyes.
they hypnotize.
the lights, the drinks.
let the music carry you away

my eyes are blurred
my sights are limited
am I sensing a familiar twinge?

please don't speak
make me think
it's all too deep

imagination
come alive
suspicion
step down, I'll dream tonight.

step down, I'll dream
you're so naked baby
carry me away
dream, dream
carry me away
dream, dream
dream, dream
dream, dream
dream, dream…


4. HOPE

you want to go out friday
and you want to go forever.
you know that it sounds childish
that you've dreamt of alligators.
you hope that we are with you
and you hope you're recognized
you want to go forever
you see it in my eyes.
I'm lost in the confusion
and it doesn't seem to matter
you really can't believe it
and you hope it's getting better

you want to trust the doctors
their procedure is the best
but the last try was a failure
and the intern was a mess.
and they did the same to Matthew
and he bled 'til sunday night
they're saying don't be frightened
but you're weakened by the sight of it
you lock into a pattern
and you know that it's the last ditch
you're trying to see through it
and it doesn't make sense
but they're saying don't be frightened
and they're killing alligators
and they're hog-tied and accepting of
the struggle

you want to trust religion
and you know it's allegory
but the people who are followers
have written their own story.
so you look up to the heavens
and you hope that it's a spaceship
and it's something from your childhood
you're thinking don't be frightened

you want to climb the ladder
you want to see forever
you want to go out friday
and you want to go forever.
and you want to cross your dna
to cross your dna with something reptile.
and you're questioning the sciences
and questioning religion
you're looking like an idiot
and you no longer care.
and you want bridge the schizm,
a built-in mechanism to protect you.
and you're looking for salvation
and you're looking for deliverance
you're looking like an idiot
and you no longer care.
'cause you want to climb the ladder
you want to go forever.
and you want to go out friday
you want to go forever.


5. AT MY MOST BEAUTIFUL

I've found a way to make you
I've found a way
a way to make you smile

I read bad poetry
into your machine
I save your messages
just to hear your voice.
you always listen carefully
to awkwards rhymes.
you always say your name.
like I wouldn't know it's you,
at your most beautiful.

I've found a way to make you
I've found a way
a way to make you smile

at my most beautiful
I count your eyelashes secretly.
with every one, whisper I love you.
I let you sleep.
I know you're closed eye watching me,
listening.
I thought I saw a smile.

I've found a way to make you
I've found a way
a way to make you smile


6. THE APOLOGIST

they call me the apologist.
and now that I'm at peak.
you know at first it really hurt.
we joke about these things.
I've skirted all my differences
but now I'm facing up.
I wanted to apologize for
everything I was. so
I'm sorry, so sorry
so sorry, so sorry
so sorry, so sorry
so sorry…

did you understand me right?
the people here are good.
they tell me what I should have done
and offer what I could.
I'm good, all is good
all's well, no complaints.
when I feel regret,
I get down on my knees and pray.
I'm sorry (so sorry), so sorry (so sorry)
so sorry (so sorry), so sorry (so sorry)
so sorry (so sorry), so sorry (so sorry)
so sorry (so sorry), so sorry…

I live a simple life
unfettered by complex sweets.
you think this isn't me? (so sorry), (so sorry)
don't be weak. (so sorry)
there I go. (so sorry)
I'm so sorry.

thank you for being there for me.
thank you for listening, goodbye.
I can forfeit selfishness
I hope for you that you apply
this happiness
this peacefulness
this peacefulness
I'm sorry (so sorry), so sorry (so sorry)
so sorry (so sorry), so sorry (so sorry)
so sorry (so sorry), so sorry (so sorry)
so sorry… (so sorry)

I live a simple life (so sorry) (so sorry)
unfettered by complex sweets. (so sorry) (so sorry)
you think this isn't me? (so sorry)
that's so sweet. (so sorry) (so sorry)
I'm so sorry

thank you for being there for me.
thank you for listening, goodbye.


7. SAD PROFESSOR

if we're talking about love
then I have to tell you
dear readers, I'm not sure where I'm headed.
I've gotten lost before.
I've woke up stone drunk
face down in the floor.

late afternoon, the house is hot.
I started, I jumped up.
everyone hates a bore.
everybody hates a drunk.

this may be a lit invention
professors muddled in their intent
to try to rope in followers
to float their malcontent.
as for this reader,
I'm already spent.

late afternoon, the house is hot.
I started, I jumped up.
everyone hates a sad professor.
I hate where I wound up.

dear readers, my apologies.
I'm drifting in and out of sleep.
long silence presents the tragedies
of love. note the age. get afraid.
the surface hazy with attendant thoughts.
a lazy eye metaphor on the rocks.

late afternoon, the house is hot.
I started, I jumped up.
everyone hates a bore.
everybody hates a drunk.
everyone hates a sad professor.
I hate where I wound up.
I hate where I wound up.


8. YOU'RE IN THE AIR

you wanted a challenge
that's calling you higher
I landed on my feet by crawling
I remember standing alone
trying to forget you idling
I hate to admit that
that's my reference point
but there it is
you say you want me

I'm what you found
I'm upside down
you're in the air
you're in the air and I am breathing you

brighten the stars
the weather is lifting
the heavens love a love like this
it's pulling you higher
twist it and turn this around
it lights from within
it dribbles your chin
now brings a smile
I'm lost again
I'm lost again

I'm what you found
I'm upside down
you're in the air
you're in the air and I am breathing you

I want the stars to know they've won
if only to beguile
the sky has opened up again
in heaven reconciled
I want you naked
I want you wild
I want the stars to know they win
give me that smile
just give it me
just turn it on
I'm lost again

I'm what you found
I'm upside down
you're in the air
I'm what you found
I'm upside down
you're in the air
I'm what you found
I'm upside down
you're everywhere
you're in the air
and I am breathing you


9. WALK UNAFRAID

as the sun comes up, as the moon
goes down
these heavy notions creep around
it makes me think
long ago I was brought into
this life a little lamb
a little lamb
courageous, stumbling
fearless was my middle name.
but somewhere there I
lost my way
everyone walks the same
expecting me to step
the narrow path they've laid
they claim to
walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me
high.

say "keep within the boundaries if you want to play."
say "contradiction only makes it harder."
how can I be
what I want to be?
when all I want to do is strip away
these stilled constraints
and crush this charade
shred this sad masquerade
I don't need no persuading
I'll trip, fall, pick myself up and
walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me
high.

if I have a bag of rocks to carry as I go
I just want to hold my head up high
I don't care what I have to step over
I'm prepared to look you in the eye
look me in the eye
and if you see familiarity
then celebrate the contradiction
help me when I fall to
walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me
high.
walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
hold my love me or leave me
high.


10. WHY NOT SMILE

the concrete broke your fall
to hear you speak of it
I'd have done anything
I would do anything
I feel like a cartoon brick wall
to hear you speak of it
you've been so sad
it makes me worry
why not smile?
you've been sad for a while.
why not smile?

I would do anything
to hear you speak of it.
why not smile?
you've been sad for a while.
you've been sad for a while.


11. DAYSLEEPER

receiving dept., 3 a.m.
staff cuts have socked up the overage
directives are posted.
no callbacks, complaints.
everywhere is calm.

Hong Kong is present
Taipei awakes
all talk of circadian rhythm

I see today with a newsprint fray
my night is colored headache grey
daysleeper
daysleeper
daysleeper

the bull and the bear are marking
their territories
they're leading the blind with
their international glories

I'm the screen, the blinding light
I'm the screen, I work at night.

I see today with a newsprint fray
my night is colored headache grey
don't wake me with so much.
daysleeper.

I cried the other night
I can't even say why
fluorescent flat caffeine lights
its furious balancing

I'm the screen, the blinding light
I'm the screen, I work at night
I see today with a newsprint fray
my night is colored headache grey

don't wake me with so much. the
ocean machine is set to 9
I'll squeeze into heaven and valentine
my bed is pulling me.
gravity
daysleeper. daysleeper.
daysleeper. daysleeper. daysleeper.


12. DIMINISHED / I'M NOT OVER YOU

I watched you fall.
I think I pushed.
maybe I'm crazy
maybe diminished
maybe I'm innocent
maybe I'm finished
maybe I blacked out.
how do I play this?

I will give my best today
I will give myself away
I have never hurt anything
is the jury wavering?
do they know I sing?

maybe I'm crazy
maybe diminished
how do I,
how do I play this?
jealous lover, self defense
protective brother, chemical
dependence.
I'll consult the i-ching
I'll consult the tv
ouija, oblique strategies.
I'll consult the law books for precedents.
can I charm the jury?

I will give my best today
I will give myself away
I have never hurt anything
is the justice wavering?
does she know I sing
that song?
sing along (I will never hurt anything)
sing along (I will never hurt anything)
sing along (I will never hurt anything)

I watched you fall.
I think I pushed.
maybe they'll see me,
maybe they'll say,
"I can see the truth in his statement.
smallpox blanket? no way."
can I charm the jury, my defense?
maybe I'm crazy
maybe diminished
maybe I loved you
baby I loved you
baby I loved you
baby I loved you
baby I'm finished.

I will give my best today
I will give myself away
I have never hurt anything
is the justice wavering?
does she know I sing
that song?
sing along (I will never hurt anything)
sing along (I will never hurt anything)
sing along (I will never hurt anything)

I have given myself away
I have given my best today
I have never hurt anything
is the justice wavering?
does she know I loved you
does she know I loved you?
does she know I sing?
. . .

I feel great. I lied to save your feelings.
truth convened, my head smashed through the ceiling.
I lost an arm,
no one harmed,
you diplomatically alarmed.
I sulked away to lick my thin skin.
I'm not over you.
I'm not over you.
I'm not over you.


13. PARAKEET

you wake up in the morning
and fall out of your bed
mean cats eat parakeets
and this one's nearly dead.

you dearly wish the wind would shift
and greasy windows slide
open for the parakeet
who's colored bitter lime.

open the window
to lift into your dreams
baby, baby
you can barely breathe.

a broken wrist
an accident
you know that something's wrong
you fold the leavings of your past
no one knows you've gone.

the sunspot flares of the early
nineties light up your wings.
and scan the shortwave radio
it's tracking outer rings.

open the window
to lift into a dream
baby, baby
you can start to breathe.

the tectonic dispatcher shifts
to smooth the ocean floor
and flattens out to warmer winds
of Brisbane's sunny shore.

where buddhas tend to mending wrists
a tea made from the leaves
of eucalyptus fragrances
and coriander seeds.

open the window
to lift into a dream
baby, baby
you can start to breathe.

open the window
to lift into a dream
baby, baby
you can start to breathe.

you wake up in the morning
to warm Pacific breeze
where mean cats chew on licorice
and cannot climb the trees.


14. FALLS TO CLIMB

I'll take the position
assume the missionary part
you work by committee,
you had me pegged from the start.
I'll be pounce pony,
phony maroney,
pony before the cart.
I'll be pounce pony.
this ceremony
only fills my heart.

who cast the final stone?
who threw the crushing blow?
someone has to take the fall
why not me?

a punch toy volunteer
a weakling on its knee.
is all you want to hear
and all you want to see.
romantically, you'd martyr me
and miss this story's point
it is my strength, my destiny
this is the role that I have chosen.

who cast the final stone?
who threw the crushing blow?
someone has to take the fall
why not me?
why not me?

gentlemen mark your opponents
fire into your own ranks.
pick the weakest as strategic
move. square off. to
meet your enemy.
for each and every gathering
a scapegoat falls to climb.
as I step forward, silently.
deliberately mine

who cast the final stone?
who threw the crushing blow?
someone has to take the fall
why not me? why not me.
had consequence chose differently
had fate its ugly head
my actions make me beautiful
and dignify the flesh

me. I am free. I am free.