1. GARDEN PARTY

Garden party held today
Invites call the debs to play
Social climbers polish ladders
Wayward sons again have fathers
Hello, Dad, hello, dad

Edgy eggs and queuing cumbers
Rudely wakened from their slumbers
Time has come again for slaughter
O on the lawns by still Cam waters
A slaughter, it's a slaughter

Champagne corks are firing at the sun again
Swooping swallows chased by violins again
Straafed by Strauss they sulk in crumbling eaves again
Oh God not again

Aperitifs consumed en masse
Display their owners on the grass
Couples loiter in the cloisters
Social leeches quoting Chaucer

Doctor's son a parson's daughter where why not and should they oughta
Please don't lie upon the grass
Unless accompanied by a fellow
May I be so bold as to perhaps suggest Othello

Punting on the Cam is jolly fun they say
Beagling on the downs, oh please do come they say
Rugger is the tops, a game for men they say

I'm punting, I'm beagling, I'm wining, reclining, I'm Rucking, I'm fucking
So welcome, it's a party

Angie chalks another blue


2. MARGARET (Live)

O' you go the high road an' I'll take the low road,
An' I'll be in Scotland before ye
For me and my true love we'll never walk again
On the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

You'll take the acid an' I'll take the dope
An' I'll be stoned before ye
For me an' my true love, the drink waters' well
On the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

Step we gaily on we go
Heel for heel and toe for toe
Arm in arm [an' row an' row
All for Mhairi's wedding]

I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll take the low road
On the lead guitar, from Yorkshire,
Mr. Stephen Rothery!

I said you, you, you, you take the high road
I said I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll take the low road
On the bass guitar, the backing vocal, from Aylesbury,
Mr. Peter Trewavas!

I said you, you, you, you'll take the high road
I said I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll take the low road
On the keyboads, from Dublin,
Mr. Mark Kelly!

I said you, you--, you'll take the high road
I said I'll, I'll--, I'll take the low road
On drums, percussion,
Mr. Michael - E.T. - Pointer

And a very big round of applause for yourself,
Our audience tonight. It takes two!
On vocals, and percussion,
Fish!

A dream fulfilled!
Sweet Ma- Ma- Ma- Ma- Margaret (4x)
I said you take the high road
[an' I'll take the low road,
An' I'll be in Scotland afore you

For me and my true love we'll never meet again
On the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond]
Sweet Ma- Ma- Ma- Ma- Margaret (4x)
The balcony!
Sweet Ma- Ma-

Say yer Scottish
I said you'll take the high...
Banks of Loch Lomond!
Banks of Loch Lomond!

Sweet Margaret
Sweet Margaret
Sweet Ma- Ma- Ma- Ma- Margaret!

Thank you Edinburgh, goodnight,
We shall definately return!
Mother smiles she did it too
Chitters chat and gossips lash
Posers pose, pressmen flash

Smiles polluted with false charm, locking on to Royal arms
Society columns now ensured, returns to mingle with the Crowds
Oh what a crowd

Punting on the Cam, oh please do come they say
Beagling on the downs, oh please so come they say
Garden party held today they say
Oh please do come, oh please do come, they say.