1. END ON 9

Sometimes I let things get me down
People tell me that I've got no future
Not this time, I'm gonna prove them wrong
I'm gonna screw them all and beat the system

Distinguish myself
From the rest of the flock
With my huge blue mohawk
I choose not to follow the norm
I'm as capable and more qualified than most

People, you've gotta face the fact
Realize that we can make a difference
Ignorance, the plague is everywhere
You know you gotta care about your freedoms

Single handedly
I will wage my war on a personal level
Everyday i will attack the establishment
Fishing without a license
And I will drink wine befoe it's time

Everything will be okay
Sit at home and watch television
Don't think anymore
No time for self expression
Keep me in the closet man, in the dark
Be a number, not a human
Number 201 report for duty, sir

This time...I'm gonna prove them wrong
This time...I'll show them that I'm strong
This time...I'll fight until the end
This time...just you and I my friend
This time...


2. DEREK

Can't you see
That I'm not straight edge
You can tell
By the look in my eye
I hear that shit you preach
It's so far out of reach
You meaningless x's
Don't cry

It's done man
Yes, it's done man
Yes, it's done
We know your scene is gone
Yes it's gone, it's gone

Train of thought that you'll outgrow
It's only a matter of time
I'm old enough to think
So i'm old enough to drink
I won't ebb with your tide

Hide behind your x's, that is fine
But keep it to yourself
Don't you get it, admit it
This phase is for the under twenty one


3. JAMIE'S PETTING ZOO

I've had my pet since I was nine years old
I loved him and fed him, kept him out of the cold
But one day he attacked
I knew he didn't love me back
So I grabbed him like a football
And punted fifty yards

Now I hate pets
Take yourself to the vet
Now I hate pets
Dolphins trapped in little nets
Now I hate pets
You little fucking screaming shit-bag
I should of let your mother
Eat you, little fucker

So I got a little birdy and I trained it everyday
He knew 1000 words but then he flew away
But then I got him back
The fucker wouldn't shut his trap
So I took him to the bathroom
And rubbed his beak in shit

Now I hate pets
Spotted owls in their nests
Now I hate pets
Bagged a deer and made a vest
Now I hate pets
Birds and bees and bears and bison
Pigs and parrots and pandas
I fucking hate them all!

I was walking through the park when a snake peered from his hole
A perfect opportunity to take the bastard home
I chopped his fucking head off
With my handy garden hoe
And made a lovely hat-band
For my redneck cousin bo, heee-haaw!

Now I hate pets
10,000 volts to the chest
Now I hate pets
Fed my cat some cigarettes
Now I hate pets
You screaming little fucking shit-bag
Bastard
Fuck you, you
Fucking pig-shit licker, fuck!


4. BULLSHIT

Bullshit, bullshit, full of shit
Bullshit, bullshit, full of shit

You can't say ten words
Without telling a lie
You always bullshit
Bullshit gets you high

When it comes to bullshit
You're the best around
Someday bullshit's
Gonna take you down


5. P.C.

You know, what pisses me off more than anything is all these people who
Aren't exactly politically correct. Like the other day, I was out walking
My siberian-american huskies. And you know how canines are: they like to
Sniff everything, including each other's butts. So some guy walks up and
He says, "Get your dog's ass out of that other dog's nose!"

So, i replied, "How dare you call them dogs! they're siberian-american
Huskies. That's like calling an african-american a black. Or calling a
Mexican-American a Mexican. Or calling a homosexual a stupid faggot!" it
Pissed me off so much i got a nose ring, died my hair blue and moved to
San Francisco!

My bus is broken down
My spirit's broken too
My girl's by my side
So i don't feel so blue
Thirty miles more
To make it to the city
Where junk is king
And the air smells shitty

What a friendly town
It really suits us well
It took some getting used to
That fucking hippy smell
Everyone corrects me
Every time I speak
I'm sick and fucking tired
Of feeling like a stupid L.A. geek

I like it
I like it
I like it
I like it, yes I do

I say it's not an issue
It doesn't shed much light
On a global scale
It isn't worth the fight
The tongue that girl speaks
Is forked to you and me
That bitch has got a problem
I think it's called P.C.


6. DISNEYLAND

Get pissed, you suck
I know your kind
I know the system
I know it's not so fine
I know the bees, I know the rains
I know that logging can kill
Oh, well, let's just go on dumbo

Profound, that's what I found
Profound, oh to the ground
Profound, that's what I found
Why must we chop it to the ground

My god, it's done, but I can cope
How about those dodgers
No time to sit around and mope
Clear out those trees
Let's make some cash
Pack up the animals
And ship them to the zoo
We'll have a blast

You know what I'd do
I think it would be so grand
We'll chop down the rain forest
And build another Disneyland
Who gives a hoot
About the lungs of the earth
I don't, so who cares
Scew it, man, for what it's worth

I knew the bees, I knew the rains
I knew the system would chop this place
And then they would make me pay
I knew the snakes, I knew tree frogs
If i knew admission was thirty bucks
I'd of brought discover card


7. CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG (AT THE DINNER TABLE)

Welcome everybody to my table
Don't be shy, man, grab a seat
C'mon, it's time to eat, dig in

Frejoles de T.J., sushi from Japan
Weenies from America
Don't forget canned ham
Monkey brains from india
^&^$#&^$^&% from France
Pizzas from Chicago
Korea, dog, many cat

All we want is, all we need is
All we want is, all we need is
All we want is one more beer
To teach the world
To sing in harmony

Eating can resolve
This racial tension
Get yourself a side of beef
Electric knife, and 50' of cord

Flies from Ethiopia
Sangria de Espana
Crumpets from England
Sand from Iran
Bratwurst von Deutchland
Meatballs from Sweden
Mongolian bbq
Bacon from Canada, eh...

All we want is, all we need is
All we want is, all we need is
All we want is one more beer
To teach the world
To sing in harmony

The next time you're about to shout a racial slur, stop, and think about
All the wonderful dishes that come from his or her country, and channel
Your energies into enjoying your next international delight!


8. VEGGICIDE

Something's up
Something's on my mind
I try to go to sleep
I try to pass the time
What gives you the right
To kill a harmless carrot
Growing in God's sunlight

You say they're best
You say they're best for you
I say it's not true
You say they make
A damn good stew
So it's time
It's time to liberate
Don't eat a carrot
Spare it
And don't eat the beet
On your plate

All my friends say
Veggies feel no pain
All my friends say
Veggies have no brains
All my friends say
Veggies feel no pain
Don't stir fry by me!
Ya-ya-ya!


9. CHAPS MY HIDE

A wet suit rash, tight pant re-hash
Oh, i forgot to wipe
It's warm outside, a pony ride
A drive across the country side

A side of flan, a marathon
The pork's a little rare
Blueberry tarts, then come wet farts
The chaffing in my dairy air

Bull leg strut, monkey butt
Bull leg strut, monkey butt
You know what chaps my hide
Riding bikes when it's hot outside
Isn't that fucked
Boy i sure feel like a schmuck
When people scream look at him
Monkey butt has set in
A rash around my pecker
My balls and butt


10. WHAT'S GONE WRONG


What the hell is going on
We never get to play
Are we too drunk
Are they too drunk
It's just the scene today

The owner of your club
Would like to hear it
Nice and slow
But we'll sit here
And drink your beer
And spill it on your floor
We don't play rock & roll

We try to play some metal for you
To bang each other's heads
But when it comes to my stuff
Why don't you tell me, man
What's gone wrong...


11. YOU'RE LATE

Oh my god, what time is it?
I'm late again, this sucks
Where's my other shoe? fuck!
I need a drink-god damn!

Did I get gas last night?
Oh, well, roll the dice
Ha-ha, I gotta to to vegas soon
I really miss those wonderful casinos
And friendly people

Fuck, i hate those people
In the carpool lane
We carpool, oooo, go fuck yourself
I'm probably fired already, shit
Oh, well
Only nine more hours
Till dollar drafts
And free meatballs
You're late


12. SUMMER'S OVER

(Instrumental)


13. ASSHOLE

I don't like the things you like
And you don't like the things I like
She don't like the things they like
So who the fuck is really right
See a skinhead at a show
Let him know he's got to go
Fuck white power, the KKK
Asshole

Everyone's an asshole
My mom's an asshole
You're a fucking asshole
And I'm a goddamn asshole

Mom and dad, the Grateful Dead
Major labels and straight edge
Cruise to school on roller blades
God, Rick James and Oakley shades
Fishing, wearing silly jocks
Nazis, midgets, new tube socks
L.D. from M.R.&R.
And fucking Zeppelin
Man

Hippies, Harleys, Pearl Jam
Chili Peppers, case of spam
Riot grrlls, ponch and jon
Squash and pork and carmel flan
We hate these things
We hate you, too
Go fuck a monkey in the zoo
Oscar meyer has a way with
B.o.l.o.g.n.a.