1. Stand Up & Be Cunted

Freedom of expression is imperative to me
I call on everyone to run naked though the city streets
Sedatives I know you wanna
Mersyndol and marijuana
Too much hydro drives you round the bend
Says me a my fucked up friends
You know its time to stand up
Stand up and be cunted



2. Russell Crowe’s Band

I dont get a million bucks for getting out of bed,
I dont get a million fucks when i punch folks in the head,
And even if we know we never get a billboard top 10 hit.
At least we know Russell Crowe's bands a fuckin pile of shit.

I dont get olympic athletes to my barbecues,
I dont get extortion threats from the coffs harbour saloon,
And even if our pay checks might aswell as be conterfeit,

At least we know russell crowe's bands a fuckin pile of shit.
At least we know russell crowe's bands a fuckin pile of shit.



3. Punisher

Return to duty corporal punishment
he had the brain that never dies
Return to duty corporal punishment
the cask is emptied every night
He's socially retarded
Tries to get this party started with brutal and unparalleled insight
What a champion (what a punish)
He hides a dark and seamy history
He keeps so quite about his past
Not even one confirming photograph
Of each tale more boring than the last
I think he's planing something could find out but I cant listen
To long winded stories with no end

What a champion (what a punisher)
What a champion (what a punisher)

I can see it one the news now
His neighbours never once complained about the noise of digging
In the back yard after midnight
They just thought he was annoying not insane

What a champion (what a punisher)
What a champion (what a punisher)
What a champion
what a way to learn
Mind started slow
got a ways
What a punisher
will he ever learn
Wonder when he'll turn
What a punisher

Spent his youth torturing small things
put his little bro through hell
only way to get his own back
on a world he saw as failed
find it so hard to listen to a guy whos such a creep
no more walking on eggshells
cos hes gonna put all his friends to sleep



4. Ballchef

Morning.
Wake up and smell all the breakfast foods that are an offer.
But no one prepared us for what's on the menu.
I've never seen this before.
If this is the breakfast of champion.
I don't wanna be an athlete.
Gastro-testicular bad combination, at least they're not serving it raw.
Cooking with balls, who would of thought it could be so normal.
Now we know he's a Ball Chef.
Come in, sit down, please be assured that you won't find a bad ball here.
Culled straight from the rocky mountains the difference between a bull and a steer.



5. Bucket Bong

The band has stopped the night is young...
This bar is closed but there'll be more to come...
She whispered softly. "I don't wanna be alone...
Can me and all my friends come back for cones?"

I called ahead I felt so cheap
Just to make sure my grandma's sound asleep
I shoulda noticed that her look was kinda smug
She only wants me cause I got the drugs

My mouth was dry my knees were weak
She held my hand when we walked down the street
I didn't give a shit she got my first name wrong
She only wants me for my Bucket Bong
She only wants me for my Bucket Bong

And when we're at home I'm feeling scared
Coz there's no bucket, sink or vessel anywhere
Now if she wants a bucket I'll have the last one
And she'll hafta have it with me in the bath
She'll hafta have it with me in the bath
She only wants me cause I got the drugs....



6. Looking Good

You took your 57 Holden right across the nation
Shooting up public schools and service stations
Never been arrested and you never thought you would
Told the officer sorry to keep you waiting
Takes a lot of time to do the work of Satan
Now you're looking at 20 years and you're looking good

Passed out in the pub like a common asshole
20-dollar bill sticking out of your nostril
Called the paramedics but they could not kick start your heart
And now you're blue
As blue as a boy can be and the prognosis isn't good
Now you're looking at 20 years and you're looking good

Well your hands are dirty but the pants are clean
You'll make the best looking corpse the world has ever scene
Now your looking at an early grave and your looking good
Brought up by your daddy to respect religion
What the father did in boarding school just wasn't Christian
Your silence paid for your collage tuition fees
The memories were so blue as blue as a boy could be
Your children never understood
Now your looking at 20 years and you're looking good

Well your hands are dirty but your shirt is clean
You're on the front of every newspaper and magazine
The lawyer told the jury you were just misunderstood
Well your minds is dirty but your pants are clean
Every where you go you've always got the make a scene
Now you're looking at 20 years and you're looking good
Oh no now you're looking at 20 years and you're looking good



7. Greyhound

Don't wanna got to the beach or the movies or hang around with you
I wanna go where I'll win lots of money
I'll do what I have to do
Always on my back telling me you need expensive stuff
Well this should be enough

I'm gonna buy you a greyhound and I'll name him after you
And when he wins I will buy anything that you want me to

Been spending all of my time on the doghouse
His well never change
Never enough the I cook dinner the puts restaurants to shame
If I raise the capital and rents not overdue
Well this is what I'm gonna do

Im gonna buy you a racehorse and I'll name him after you
And when he wins I will buy anything that you want me to
I'm gonna buy you a greyhound and I'll name him after you
And if you leave me at least I'll have a friend who will be true

Its not cruelty if you inject enough amphetamines
I promise one day I'll have a proper job to do
But that wont be anytime soon

I'm gonna buy you a racehorse and I'll name him after you
And when he wins I will buy anything that you want me to
I'm gonna buy you a racehorse and I'll name him after you
And if he loses once I'll turn him into superglue



8. Lead Poisoned Jean

Grew up in an industrial town,
two blocks away from the industrial sounds.
Three generations in the same old home.
Seven kids mum feels so alone.
Six of them looked like they had a chance to do something with their lives.
Little Jeanie had a mind of her own, but it wasn't a very good one.

And we try not to be mean,
to our little lead poisoned Jean.
Little lead poisoned Jean.

No special school no one to understand,
her teachers tried to use the back of their hands,
she can't compute any information.

She likes pictures on the screen,
our little lead poisoned Jean,
little lead poisoned Jean.

One winters day it was the end of June,
her parents put together two and two.
She wasn't normal, no she's not the same,
the legal battle set the town aflame.
The company would be responsible for every time that Jeannie screams,
pollution so obscene. Little lead poisoned Jean.

Now the family's rich beyond belief
that sort of money's still a shallow relief.
Little Jeannie's got a new playstation so she

Stares at the screen
she's my little lead poisoned Jean.



9. Who’d Be A Cop?

You had such a terrible time at home, not as bright as your brother and sister. Though intimidating all your friends, still think that uniform's so cool. what a job you can make your own rules. Take your frustration out on them. Hanging out at your nearest protest. punching kids and making arrests in the name of whoever pays the most. Couldn't get in the armed forces, animals on the backs of horses, good sense and justice you oppose. Get a real job- who would be a fucking cop? Did you not get enough love? Did your parents beat you up? Do you worry bout the size of your penis? Did the army kick you out? what the hell was that about? Didn't let you use your firearm in public? You dont protect me, no security, for my family and my friends. Your brain is just out of reach, you can shoot drunks on the beach. The corporations you defend- Get a real job. who would be a fucking cop? I don't know how you get to sleep, when junkies terrorise your beat. Feel like a hero when you punch alcoholics. And there's that secret no one knows, hidden from everyone. Those unnatural affections for German Shepherds- Get a real job- who would be a cop? Did you not get enough love? Did your parents beat you up? Do you worry bout the size of your penis? Were you a cockhead from the start? You didn't need very good marks, and now you're suppplementing your income with money from drugs. Don't wear your name badge on your chest. In case of civil unrest. Wouldn't want anyone to think that your like violence best. Who would be a fucking cop?



10. White World

Congratulations you have won the right to anything you want
An astronaut, a TV host, and open hand a smiling face
Another medal for your race an open door
Another opportunity to find out what it means to be so lucky
Sit back forget about the rest
Just remember you're the best that this world has to offer
Oh baby baby it's a white world
I don't want anything to do with this birthright it makes me sick
To think of people feeling better
Treating everyone like shit
Sit back forget about the rest
Just remember that you're the best
That this world has to offer.



11. Cocksucker

Liquor and drugs, wasting the rewards.
Well I'm feeling good, now that we're done for.
Well I'm fully sick, sick of the old way.
I feel like a smoke, to start up a new day.

Triple the rent, but that's not the issue.
Most of my friends, they're all alcoholics.
But their the only one who make any sense, now everything's gonna be great.

I'm getting up, I'm going out.
I'm gonna turn it up fucking loud.
Won't look at anything that's anything like you, oh oh oh oh.
I'm gonna give this night away, I'm gonna talk shit behind your back.
Won't look at anything that's anything like oh oh oh oh.



12. World’s Fuckedest Cunt

Well who could know. the party's just beginning.
Party shirt and pants a bit too tight. Put's on a show, coz he knows he'll be winning.
The answer's clear it's there in black and white. It's closing time, but he is just beginning- eyes open wide and a mouth that won't relent.
He's feeling fine, his head and body spinning. Hands twitching on.
He's in his element. He's your best mate, can't stand up straight.
So let's celebrate. the W.F.C He's out of breath, he's nearing death.
He's at his best, the W.F.C. Well he's still there. after the party's over. With half the night, splattered down his front. Beer flavoured hair.
Trying to act sober. He starts a fight but it's just an accident. He's your best mate, can't stand up straight.
So let's celebrate. the W.F.C He's out of breath, he's nearing death. He's at his best, the W.F.C.
Obscenely rude, bad attitude likes to get nude. the W.F.C..
He's lost his shoe, he's without a clue he's just like you, the W.F.C.



13. 60, Beautiful & Mine

Well she's a fast DAMN woman
She's a lovin' machince
And she's been around the block if you know what i mean
Spent the last 40 years just scopein' the scene
And now she knows it's time

To find someone to share the rest of her days
Before the grim reaper come's and layes her to waste
And i know i'm first inline

Because she's 60
And she's beautiful
And she's mine!

Well i was sick of the girls
And i was sick of the game
And i know alzeimhers is a goddam shame
But i still think it's cute when she forgets her name
And tries to remember mine

And as the years go by
And the loving grows
Like the hairs on her chin
Or the warts on her toes
The best years may be behind her but still...

She's 75
She's beautiful
And she's mine!

But i don't care what people say
We're gonna do it everyway
Even if it hurts a bit and takes a little time
My Baby she still knows how to please
Even with her breasts down to her knees

She's 90
And she's beautiful
And she's mine

I saw it in her face it was the end of the line
I took her false teeth out and kissed her one last time
Remember that she'll always be mine and that i'll always care

well i believe that death isnt really the end
Even though she not moveing i can always pretend
But now i know that she'll always be there
Cos i gaffer taped her
To the
Rockin' chair

Well i don't care what people say
We're gonna do it every way
Even if the corpsy smell can put me off sometimes

My babys there always there for me
Frozen for eternaty

She's 60 and she's beautiful
As a lover none more suitalbe

She's 60
And she's beautiful
And she's mine!!!



14. I Went Out With A Hippy & Now I Love Everyone Except For Her

You taught me to re-align my chakra,
speak to my inner consciousness.
You made me listen to John Butler
and other rubbish that bored me to shit
You wanted to move up the North Coast
where everthing is so much better
Where you can play Djembes on the beach
I used to get mad
I used to get angry
I used to hate everyone i met
You taught me love
You showed me kindness
You painted flowers on my face
And that gave me the shits
Fuck i hated that
but it taught me a valuable lesson too
Now i love everyone but you
We had mushrooms in the morning
I was braindead for eternity
I took my clothes off
you didn't like that
and neither did the check-out chick from coles
i tried to pash the store security
I used to get mad
I used to get angry
I used to be cynical i know
You taught me love
You taught me yoga
You threw the fire around my head.
And that gave me the shits
Fuck i hated that
but it taught me a valuable lesson too
Now i love everyone but you
You wont make me live with no shoes.
Now i love everyone but you
Now every full moon i think of last year
and when we went to the bush doof party
And how the acid made the music worse.
I know she had a good heart
when she stood in front of trees.
But she talked out her arse
she could see me aura turning bad.
And that gave me the shits
Fuck i hated that
everyone else i know thanks you.
Now i love everyone but you
Now i love everyone but you
I passively resist your coup.
Now i love everyone but you
Now i love everyone but you
I love everyone but you



15. All The Kids Are Having Kids

Teenage romance always a chance to get into trouble. Now it's no fun, shotgun, far to young and they can't come out to play.

When all the kids are having kids, today.

Back seat like toast, mid-central coast they grow up so quickly. No more Friday night drinks in the park, no matter what they say.

Coz all the kids are having kids, all the kids are having kids, today.

Terminate or church doorstep, sell them on the internet or up for adoption. Or there's no more rock shows, drugs or cigarettes, stunt their DNA.

When all the kids are having kids, all the kids are having kids, today

Forgotten dreams and wasted plans, (Contraception)
memories airbrushed on a panel van. (is an option)
Replaced with frowns and wagging tongues, (Contraception)
washing lines and soccer mums. (is an option)

Fast track up no time for cool, there must have been a hole in the golden rule. At least you get the week off school.

When all the kids are having kids, all the kids are having kids, all the kids are having kids, today.



16. You’ll Go To Jail

You can try holding up a payroll with your pants around your ankles,
And a darkened plastic bag over your head,
Tied on real tightly.
Put sugar in the gas tank of your flat-tired getaway car,
With an amputated arsehole at the wheel.
You can't tell me that it's a real steal.

And you will fail, You'll go to jail.

Try to viciously attack a Newtown Jets half backer,
With both hands and legs tied behind your back,
and a sultry shade of lipstick on your mouth,
And if you somehow make it out,
Call his mum a hooker on the way.
Well today is really not your day.

Try saving all the trees, or free the refuges.
Or prove you're not a coward by killing Johnny Howard.
Murder all the Racists, welcome blokes from other places.
Force everyone to stop eating meat.
I wouldn't bother getting off your seat.
I wouldn't bother trying you'll just end up doing time.
And if you want to make a difference you'll just end up in a prison,
Getting buggered every time you go to sleep.