1. IN THE FUTURE

It is the future... year 6969. Somewhere out in Megaspace.
The Pelozees of the Lesbodyke Nebula, in order to continue breeding after removal from the
Universe their last remaining enemy, men, created the PIL - Penile Impregnation Lingumbot.
Rezark SP - a prototype PIL, accidentally launched into chrono-space during the hyperfiber wars, has programmed a self replicating evo-loop and drifts for a kilo-year, alone and sentient in a tele-operative trajectory above Planet Three-S: formerly known as Earth.
Lowering his astrogate to Planet Three-S, Rezark SP, the last surviving chrononaut, has a bad case of bluballsium and one thing on his hydro-mind:
Pussy!


2. SUPERSONIC SEX MACHINE

I'm the cyber-slutty sex bot made of steel
I am programmed to make all the bitches squeal
I've got gluteus of aluminum and circuit board abs
I'm impervious to hackers, Chlamydia, and crabs

I've got an extra dong for double penetration
Just squeeze my balls and activate vibration
I can fuck all night if you want me to
Then you can piss on my receptacle
And suck my load of cyber-goo

Super sonic sex machine (x3)

I've got bionic balls attached to vacuum tubes
Micro ducts emitting flavored lube
Degauss my memory for no regret
I'll paint your house and wash your car and light your cigarette

I'm a - Super sonic sex machine (x3)

I'm coded for performance - but I'm missing something real
You've helped me become human - you've shown me how to feel
The elders of the Science, Shall breed a Master Race
But we can live in freedom - let me jizz upon your face

[SOLO]

I am engineered to cuddle until dawn
You can activate my sleep mode when you're gone
Your ultimate pleasure's the reason I exist
From shopping malls to ben wa balls a finger to a fist

I'm a - Super sonic sex machine (x3)

That's what I am!


3. JUST LIKE TIGER WOODS

If you don't golf that's okay
You can be a tiger anyway
Laugh through your teeth when things gets tough
Or your balls are gonna wind up in the rough, yeah yeah

If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Fertalise the ladies in the neighbourhood
Get real rich and you will find
All the hot chicks will want you blind

If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Grip that shaft like you know you should
Get a platinum card, it will be all good
The girls will want you just like Tiger Woods

Remember this when you're having fun
Three holes are better than a hole in one, yeah
If the word gets out don't be afraid
When a 9 iron's heading for your escalade, yeah yeah
If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Filling all the divots in the neighbourhood
Don't think about those three foot clubs
You cover your tracks when you're banging them sluts

If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Text messages are never good
Nail a girl at the driving range
Your life will change, just like Tiger Woods

Have your best friend book all your flights
Tell your wife that you're golfing nights
Get a call girl and maybe just chill
Be willing to part with a hundred mill

Bang a new pornstar every day
Tell your sponsors it will be okay
Surprise them all with an invitation
To a viewing of your first double penetration, yeah

If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Poking all the holes in the neighbourhood
Tell your wife how it's gonna be
Your driver is community property

If you wanna be like Tiger Woods

Become the king of your neighbourhood
Like Steel Panther and Tiger Woods

Just like Tiger Woods, oh yeah yeah


4. 17 GIRLS IN A ROW

I fucked 17 girls in a row last night
And ten of them gave me head
I had to tip the maid a hundred dollar bill
To clean the wet spot off the bed
Yes I did

The very next day I told the guys
The flipped me off and said that's all lies
Gotta admit I was a little peaved
Stix and Lexxi wouldn't believe

I fucked 17
17 girls in a row
What a dirty hoe

I banged 17 girls in the grocery store
And never lost my erection, no
They had to mop up sperm in aisle 3
And some poop in the produce sex-sex-section
Stinky!

When I told the boys in the band they said
Motherfucker you're out of your fucking head
I don't lie about the girls I screw
They're just so jealous 'cause they know it's true

I fucked 17
17 girls in a row
Yes I, yes I did!
Woah!

17 girls in a row!
17 girls, I shot my blanks in every hole
17 girls in a row!
When I was done they were begging for more!

[Guitar Solo - Satchel]

I fucked 17 girls at the trailer park
Down in Memphis, Tennessee
I whipped out my dick and they got on their knees
Like they were all getting ready to pray

Wham to the bam to the thank you ma'am
Then I praised the lord like Billy Graham
Hell may be where I'm gonna go
But when I get there I'm pretty sure the devil will know

I fucked 17
17 girls in a row
Sweet, young, juicy pussy!
I fucked 17 girls in a row!
Hop on that camel toe
I fucked 17 girls in a row

[Clean/Radio version:]

I did 17 girls in a row last night
I can't get 'em out of my head.
I hit the team tomato on a dollar bill
I'm cleaning six girls off my face
Yes I did

The very next day I told the guys
But they said that's all lies
Gotta admit I was a little beat
Stix and Lexxi wouldn't believe

I did 17. 17 girls in a row!
Dirty hoes!

I rocked 17 girls in a grocery store and never lost my erection!
No!
They had the saying aisle 3 and my love in sec-sex-section.
Stinking!

When I told the boys in the band they said
'Michael Starr, you're outta your crazy head! '
I don't lie about the girls I screw
So jealous 'cause you know it's true

I did 17. 17 girls in a row
Yes I, Yes I did!
Woah!

17 girls in a row! 17 girls
I had my face in every hole
17 girls in a row!
When I was done they were begging for more!

[Guitar Solo - Satchel]

I had 17 girls in a catholic church in the middle of the effing day
Climb in baby!
I whipped out my junk and they got on their knees like they were all gettin' ready to pray, yeah!

Wham to the Bam to the Thank You, Mam!
Then I praised the lord as I
Tell me where I'm gonna go when

I did 17. 17 girls... in a row!
Woo, sweet and juicy, juicy! Yeah!
17 girls in a row!

On that camel toe
I rocked 17 girls in a row! Yeah!


5. IF YOU REALLY REALLY LOVE ME

If you really really really really love me
Then you really really really gotta show me
Don't whine when I put it in your booty
Or if I'm up all night playing Call of Duty
Never hassle me because I'm unemployed
If I sleep all day don't get annoyed
Then I'll know that you really really really really really really really love me
If you really really love me

If you really truly want to make me feel nice
Make it so I don't ever have to ask twice
Let me have the keys to your Mercedes
Don't get mad when I bring home some ladies
If I get fat and look like an egg
Lie to me, tell me I'm in great shape
Then I'll know that you really really really
Really really really love me

If you wonder what I did with the rent
Just consider it money well spent
I bought trunks and a new surfboard
So just go tell your dumb landlord
That you love me
You really really love me
If I have sex with your friend Melanie
Don't act like it's some kind of felony
It's not uncommon for this kind of infidelity
It happens to a lot of guys like Tiger Woods and me
Just be happy that I'm hung like a horse
And you get to ride the pony of course
'Cause I'm really really really really really really
Really really fond of you too

When you think it's really suckie girl
All your friends will say 'you lucky girl'
You got a man who's hot you say
All the girls wanna be with me
'Cause they love me
They really really love me
Yes they do

If you really really really really love me
You'd never make me hang out with your family
Your mum sucks and your dad really hates me
When I try to borrow money he berates me
So Molly thinks that I'm too old for you
'Cause you're 19 and I'm 52
He can't see that you really really really really really really love me
You really really really really really really really really love me
If you really really love me


6. IT WON'T SUCK ITSELF

Woah
Let's go
Listen up

Last week me and Satchel were at the San Diego zoo
We were on our cougar hunt and I ended up with you
Dragged you to a dirty cage and threw you to the ground
I felt the sting down on my thing and I heard a hissing sound

A six foot rattlesnake just bit me right below the belt
Get on your knees and help me please 'cause it won't suck itself

Time to use your mouth (Just get that venom out)
You can't spit it out (Right now you'll choke it out)
I need you to be the nurse
I can feel the swelling getting worse
'Cause it won't suck itself

No it won't
We did a show in Panama and blew their fucking minds
Rocked it out like Aerosmith from back in '85
I took this chick to the dressing room, just got the candles lit
I didn't see it crawl on me and that's when I got bit

A pissed off scorpion just bit me right below the belt
I'm down and out, I need some help 'cause it won't suck itself

Time to use your mouth (Just get that venom out)
You can't spit it out (Right now you'll choke it out)
Holy shit, it's getting worse
I don't want to wind up in a hearse
But it won't suck itself

Time to use your mouth (Just get that venom out)
You can't spit it out (Right now you'll choke it out)
I need you to be the nurse
I can feel the swelling getting worse
'Cause it won't suck itself
It won't suck itself
It won't suck itself

Alright
Baby I feel so good, ye


7. TOMORROW NIGHT

The food will be great
And the drinks will be free
And all the sexy girls will wanna party with me
The weed will be toked
And Columbian coke
Will be snorted off some strippers boobs and that's no joke

It's the party of the century that's right
Unfortunately it's tomorrow night
I'm going to a party
Tomorrow night
Tomorrow night (yeah)
I'm gonna get some pussy
Tomorrow night
Tomorrow night
But tonight I'm gonna jerk off

It's in Beverly Hills
They got prescription pills
And Keifer fucking Sutherland is coming to chill
The got sushi and rice
Lowenbrau is on ice
In the living room they're playing naked twister and dice
The security and pussy will both be tight
But I'm on the list for tomorrow night!

I'm going to a party
Tomorrow night
Tomorrow night (yeah)
I'm gonna get some pussy
Tomorrow night
Tomorrow night
But tonight I'm playing angry birds
Like a million other stupid nerds
But tonight I'm gonna burp the worm by myself!!!

Ponies and clowns will be walking around
Naked people having sex all over the ground
Britney Spears is making out with Christopher Walken
In the back yard Iron Maiden is rocking
The couch is on fire but nobody cares
Charlie Sheen is winning in the bedroom upstairs!!!!
Tomorrow night
Tomorrow night

(Yeah)
I'm going to a party
Tomorrow night
Tomorrow night
Tomorrow night (Yeah)

Tomorrow night!!!!!


8. WHY CAN'T YOU TRUST ME

I want you to know one thing
You ain't getting an engagement ring, yeah
So if you want to keep being with me
Oh, you've got to give me just a little, little more space
Stop chasing me around all over the place
And checking all the comments on damn Myspace
And acting like a fricking nut

Why can't you trust me baby?
Why can't you trust me baby?
So I did a little blow, get off my back
It's not like I'm smoking crack
Why can't you trust me baby?

I want to tell you just one thing more
Don't treat me like a dirty man whore, yeah
'Cause I can walk right out your Mum's front door
Oh, you better treat me with a little, a little respect
Before I go Chris Brown and punch you in the neck
Keep your insecurities at fucking check
Before I fuck all your ugly friends, yeah
Why can't you trust me baby?
Why can't you trust me baby?
I must have caught something from the toilet seat
You know that I would never cheat
Why can't you trust me baby?
Why can't you trust me baby?
If you think I'll mess around then get a grip
Or you're gonna get a big fat lip

I tell you everything I do
Is always gonna be for you
But you never hear a word
You treat me like a fricking turd
Just like a big, juicy turd, yeah, yeah

You better open up your eyes and shut your trap
I ain't putting up with anymore of your crap
Stop threatening the bitches on my Facebook page
Or I'm gonna rip your head off in a cocaine rage
Why you gotta check my prison history?
Baby, why can't we just let it be a mystery?
Besides, everybody knows it was you
That blew Justin Bieber at the petting zoo

Why can't you trust me baby?
Why can't you trust me baby?
I wrote a little song so you understand
I don't cheat like the rest of the band
Why can't you trust me baby?
Why can't you trust me baby?
Our love is fragile like a piece of glass
Don't make me drop your big, fat ass


9. THAT'S WHAT GIRLS ARE FOR

I wanna make one thing crystal clear
When I want an ice old beer
Get it real quick and say "yes, dear"
Those are the words that I wanna hear
We’ll get along - you will see
Focus on taking care of me
You gotta make me a priority
Cuz I’m a pretty bitchin’ commodity
Dear old dad, now he’s dead
But when he was alive he always said
"Make those bitches take care of you
Cause that’s what women were born to do!"

That’s what girls are for
That’s what girls are for!
Cleaning, baking, hot love making
That’s what girls are for!
That’s what girls are for!
Taking directions, giving me erections

Do my laundry, pay my bills
Crush my Oxycontin pills
Clean the sheets where my manjuice spills
On the weekend you can roto-till
You’ll see it’s a way of life
Do a good job and you can be my wife!
Load my guns and sharpen my knife
Just kidding you ain’t gonna be my wife!
Dear old dad, God rest his soul
He’d wake up in the morning and smoke a bowl
Smack my mom upside the head
"Make me a sandwich" is what he said
Yeah

That’s what girls are for
That’s what girls are for
Sewing, cooking, being good looking
That’s what girls are for
That’s what girls are for
Love me, rub me, suck my nubby!

Anyone can see, when you’re waiting on me
Nothing makes me feel more alive!
And I pray everyday that somehow we can stay stuck in 1955!

That’s what girls are for
That’s what girls are for
Sing it with feeling!
That’s what girls are for
That’s what girls are for
Even my mom agrees!
That’s what girls are for
That’s what girls are for
That’s what girls are for

That’s what girls are for
That’s what girls are for
Wearing high heels and copping some feels
That’s what girls are for
That’s what girls are for
Kissin’ lickin’ tastes like chicken!
That’s what girls are for
That’s what girls are for
Being real dumb, and making me cum!
That’s what girls are for
That’s what girls are for
S My D and L my B’s some more!


10. GOLD-DIGGING WHORE

Don't you go potting a deal
Don't you buy a gucci chest
If it comes down to you or a pile of cash
I can tell you what she's gonna choose
The girls got her hands on a 2" ring
On a brand new Mercades Benz
She's gonna suck all the money from your bank account
Then she'll fuck all your friends
She'll do a gangbang with your friends, yeah

She's a gold-digging whore
She's a gold-digging whore
She's a gold-digging whore

Don't you go saying you love her
That's something that you're gonna regret
She's gonna take you for a ride and then she'll bury your ass
Underneath a mountain of debt
So don't you go calling her sweetheart
Or giving her a big old rock
You're gonna turn around and catch her at the whisky bar
Sucking George Clooney's cock
Then you'll be in for a shock

She's a gold-digging whore
But atleast you'll wanna fuck her some more
She's a gold-digging whore
She's a gold-digger
She's a gold-digger
Watch your bank account get bigger and bigger
She's a gold-digger
She's a gold-digger
Fucking all the white guys and all the Persians
She's a gold-digging whore

There's a half a dozen girls you could be dating
But this one's gonna ruin your credit rating

G-O-L-D-D-I-G-G-I-N-G-W-H-O-R-E (I love you baby)
G-O-L-D-D-I-G-G-I-N-G-W-H-O-R-E
Everybody knows she's a gold-digging whore
She's a gold-digging whore
She's a cum birther, sperm dripping, yellow belly, money grabbing
Milking your wallet sore

She's a gold-digging whore
You can find her at the Prada store
She's a gold-digging whore

She's a gold-digger
She's a gold-digger
Just like all the others hanging out at the bar
She's a gold-digger
She's a gold-digger
Only 98% of us thinks she wants us
She's a gold-digging whore just like your mum
She's a gold-digging whore
Let me hear you retards spell it out
G-O-L-D-D-I-G-G-I-N-G-W-H-O-R-E


11. I LIKE DRUGS

Last night, I got so high
I think I had sex with the cable guy
Well I’ll admit, it would’ve been funny,
But that pole smoker stole all my drug money
I buy chronic every week or so
But I do it when I’m really really high on blow
I’m wide awake, but it’s hard to count
I paid 1100 dollars for a quarter ounce!

I like drugs but they don’t like me
My brain cells seem to disagree
I like drugs, I like drugs, I like drugs, but they don’t like me

I was pounding some bitch the other night
Rolling on E man, feeling alright
When I was high she was hotter than heck
But I woke up to a face that looked like Shrek
I get high, that ain’t no lie
But I can’t afford another friggin DUI
Doctor says "stop, or you’ll be dying"
I was gonna, but then you said you were buying

I like drugs but the don’t like me
It’s always better, when they’re free!
I like drugs, I like drugs, I like drugs, but they don’t like me
No they don’t!
Don’t try and stop me, I can’t be saved, oh yeah
If I die tonight at least my balls are shaved,
Courtesy of lyricshall.com
Can you necro-feel-it!

Aaahhhhh yeah... I like drugs
I do it when I’m chillin’
Aaaahhhhhh yeah... I like drugs
I’ve even snorted penicillin
If I can crush it - it goes up my nose
If it’s smack I’ll shoot it in between my toes
How old am I? Nobody knows!
My surgeon is my dealer so my age never shows!
Vicodin, Valium, Percocet and crack,
Everybody scream Heavy Metal’s back!
I like drugs but the don’t like me

I like drugs but the don’t like me
I’m driving right now to the next party
I like drugs, I like drugs, I like drugs, but they don’t like me

[Michael:] Oh shit man, I’m getting pulled over again...
Ah I better chug these beers, where’s those pills, shit?
[Cop:] Sir do you realize you were going 25mph on the freeway back there?
[Michael:] Well what’s the fucking speed limit? 15 mph?
[Cop:] Sir do you have any Warrants?
[Michael:] I got their first CD, but you can’t have it motherfucker! Later!
[Cop:] I got a 5150 on a 2112, I’m following a 1984 yellow Camaro. Suspect looks like a chubby David Lee Roth... scratch that, more like a skinny version of Vince Neil!


12. CRITTER

If you love your lady then here's some good advice
If you want her to stay with you then don't go treating her nice
If you buy her flowers she'll drop you twice as fast
So do what Steel Panther does and stick it right in her ass

Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
Fuck that lady right
Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
She won't put up a fight

If you're at the strip joint hanging out with the guys
When you get a table dance just look her in the eyes
Tell her that she's ugly and treat her really mean
She'd really want to fuck you 'cause strippers have low self esteem
Then you can
Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
Fuck that dancer girl
Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
Just like Ron Jeremy would
Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
Use your spit for lube
Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
Screw her poopie too

Don't be retarded, you've gotta listen to my song (to this song)
Don't be afraid to get some penis on your tongue
Hit her in the shitter
Gotta treat her like a critter

Treat her like a critter
Fuck fuck yeah
Treat her like a critter
Woah, she really likes it
Treat her like a critter
Yeah, my littles slut girl
Treat her like a critter
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah
She likes it in the ass
Ooh yeah yeah yeah


13. LET ME CUM IN

Sleeping on a park bench in chilly October
Currently homeless, or is it foreclosure?
I need a place to stay, you say you'll grant my wishes
I got no money but you tell me I can wash the dishes

Sexual tension, we both can feel it
I got a swollen member, I can't conceal it
Slide into your Comaro you see my circumstance
You tell me if I stay my friend has to stay in my pants

Let me cum in
Let me cum in
Let me cum in your house tonight
Let me cum in
Let me cum in
Let me sleep on your couch, alright
Let me cum in
Let me cum in
Let me cum in your house tonight
Ooh yeah
Ooh yeah
Wanna be with you yeah

I know you want me, you know I want you
'Cause you like musicians and I like people with boobs
Your lips are soft and wet, your cheeks so smooth and rosy
It must be nice inside, my cock will be so warm and cosy
Let me cum in
Let me cum in
Let me cum in your mouth tonight
Let me cum in
Let me cum in
Baby, swallow my creamy load, don't bite
Let me cum in
Let me cum in
Let me cum in your mouth tonight
Ooh yeah
Ooh yeah
I'll give you something to chew, yeah
Ooh yeah
Ooh yeah
I'll give you something to chew, yeah

Spreading your legs, I see it in your eyes
You're getting your eggs ready to fertalise
Don't get yourself excited 'cause I ain't going there
Don't need no kid to support, I'm going up in your rear

Let me cum in
Let me cum in
Let me cum in your ass tonight
Let me cum in
Let me cum in
Your gluteus maximus, so tight
Let me cum in
Let me cum in
Let me cum in your ass tonight
Let me cum in
Let me cum in
Your super duper pooper yeah
Ooh yeah
Ooh yeah
Something new to you yeah
Ooh yeah
Ooh yeah
Something new to you yeah

Whoa, nothing new to you


14. WEENIE RIDE

I want to tell you 'bout something fun
So I wrote you this song
If you've ever been to Disneyland
You know the lines can be real long
But I got a ride that the bitches love
And you won't have to wait at all
All you've got to do is ditch your boyfriend
And give sexy Michael Starr a call

I'll take your ass for a weenie ride
Spread your cheeks and swallow your pride
It's scary like a rollercoaster
It will stretch you out so wide

Gonna take your ass for a weenie ride
Hold on tight 'cause I'm coming inside
It's better than a ferris wheel or a water slide
It's a weenie ride

I want to sing about a thing that's funner than a swing and better than the
Monkey bars
You can take it on the couch or your water bed or in the back of your
Daddy's car
And it's open all day, night time too, seven fucking days a week
It only shuts down intermittently so I can take a leak

So put that snatch on a weenie ride
Ride her face down or on your side
You'll be amazed what you can fit in there
When some leverage is applied
Open your legs for a weenie ride
You won't be the first to see it and cry
Just bring the baby wipes and some astroglide
It's a weenie ride

Oh yeah

Scream for me

Honey, won't you try the weenie ride
You're never gonna be the same
Baby, how you gonna get to Heaven if you can't take a little pain?

Step right up for a weenie ride
It's even more fun when you're gagged and tied
Oops, I think I got a little DNA
All over your backside

Go on and tell your friends about the weenie ride
You can charge admission, baby, I don't mind
Even with the big old muff you won't get tonight
For the weenie ride

Ooh

Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (It's a weenie ride)
Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (Come spread your
Thighs)
Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (Ooh ooh ooh, Ooh ooh
Ooh, Ooh ooh ooh, Ooh ooh ooh)
Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (It's a weenie ride)
Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (It's a weenie ride,
Yeah)
Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (Baby, baby, baby)
It's a weenie ride